Because you demanded it (and I really really want to), here comes a new series: Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers. I was a huge fan of Power Rangers as a kid, and somehow I never noticed how choppy the footage was, how much it cut to random places and how the Rangers seemed to be everywhere. It wasn't until much later that I learned Power Rangers was based on a Japanese television show, not until long after I'd abandoned Power Rangers and other American entertainment for Japanese anime, primarily because of the continuity and the way episodes would flow into one another. I never actually got around the watching Super Sentai though.
That's all about to change though. As cultural interest in Power Rangers (at least in my circles) is starting to ramp up, I've decided to take a look at Zyuranger, the show that became the first episodes of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. And just to make things interesting, I've also decided to rewatch every episode of Power Rangers, and compare them to the source material. I've also decided to give points to each arbitrarily throughout, plus give the better episode 2 points at the end. Once I'm done, we can see if American cultural appropriation has prevailed, or if Japan, like Elves, just makes everything better. Hit the jump and join me on my journey through the pilot episodes, The Birth and Day of the Dumpster!
Both episodes start things off with the opening sequence, and both are balls to the wall awesome. I'll go into full detail on them in another episode, when I don't have as much to cover, but I recommend looking both of them up on Youtube and seeing them for yourselves.
Then we get the episode titles. Both actually come a little way into the episode, but let's discuss them now. Zyuranger's first episode is titled "Birth". It's about as generic as you can get for first episode titles, and incredibly disappointing if you're at all familiar with Japanese title conventions. For example, in Japan, The Empire Strikes Back would be called "Majestic City Hidden in the Clouds: The Secret of Luke's Father Revealed!" and "Birth" just doesn't stack up. Meanwhile, over in Power Rangers, we have "Day of the Dumpster". Is that a stupid name? Yes. Does it have anything, anything, to do with the episode? No. Do I love it anyway? Hell. Yes. Power Rangers draws first blood!
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Zyuranger begins with an old man sweeping in front of some apartments, and telling the kids going by to be good at school. We cut to a news broadcast that helpfully exposits that the Japanese Space Program has launched a shuttle into space to explore the nearby Planet Nemesis which has an orbit that places it near Earth's orbit every 23 Million years. Like Haley's Commet only with an obviously evil name. I can't believe I'm saying this, but Zyuranger is the first series I'm going to have to dock for bad science.
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Better get in the game Zyuranger. It's also revealed that on the Space Shuttle are two child astronauts who were specially selected to join the mission and.... what the hell Japan? Not only is your Space Program apparently secretly light years ahead of the rest of the world, you're willing to send kids on space shuttle launches... and to PLANET NEMESIS no less. I mean, presumably it's name after Doctor Charles Nemesis or something, but sheesh. Or maybe the astronauts just knew they were going to get in trouble on the planet, and figured as long as they were protecting a kid, they'd be immune from harm. They approach the planet, and we cut to the old man, who gets on top of the apartment building, and grows a giant ear in order to listen in on the astronauts' communications.
It's later established that this dude is totally a wizard, so I'm not going to dock Zyuranger a second time for bad science, but I'm tempted. Only Superman can hear in the vacuum of space after all. The astronauts explore the planet, and find a glowing red silo, which they run to. The wizard yells at them not to open it, but he doesn't grow a giant mouth, so they can't hear him in space. If only he had Superman's super ventriloquism! Unable to hear the warning of the friendly janitor wizard, they open it, releasing Bandora and her gang. Helpful subtitles tell us their names, so that kids know what the toys are called when they ask their parents for them. The only important ones are Bandora herself, who Power Rangers fans will know as Rita Repulsa, and Grifforzer, who's Goldar in MMPR.
Bandora asks how long they've been sleeping, and her minions need a calculator to tell her... not sure how that helps, but they say it's 170 million years. That means they were around in the middle of the Jurassic Period... Humans weren't around back then, but I'll allow it on the grounds that humans teaming up with dinosaurs to fight a witch and seal her on another planet is awesome. Bandora blasts the astronauts who saved her into space.
Speaking of space, that's where Power Rangers begins: a shot of the space shuttle going... somewhere. Power Rangers has no time for context! The unaired pilot and fannon say it's the moon, but the space shuttle clearly goes past the moon so... yeah. Pretty much the exact same scene happens as Zyuranger, except that the astronauts call it a giant space dumpster... it's not very big nor does it look like a dumpster. They open it and Rita Repulsa and her minions come spilling out... Man, it is not that dumpster's day. It's pretty much the same scene, except Rita doesn't do anything to the astronauts. Also, Rita was only imprisoned for 10,000 years so humans were just getting around to that whole agriculture thing, but they were totally around. H... how is Power Rangers better at science than Super Sentai? How is it better at science than anything!? I'm so confused!
Back in Zyuranger, Bandora is attacking the planet by... sliding a bunch of skyscrapers around and launching one into space. It seems rather effective, even if I don't have any idea how that works. She slides a bunch of buildings into a fortress, then drops the one she lifted up in the center, now with her palace on top. She even has a sweet neon sign.
It seems like a pretty effective fortification, honestly. Meanwhile, in Power Rangers we cut to.... the Angel Grove Youth Center, Gym and Juice Bar in order to introduce the characters. We start with Zach and Jason, who are doing martial arts at each other in the middle of the Gym. Kimberlee is on a balance beam and Trini is.... um... doing martial arts by herself. She's Asian; sometimes they just do that I guess. Last is Billy, who's signed up for Karate 101 with Jason as his teacher.
Wait. I meant I wish Billy was last. Next we're introduced to Bulk and Skull and... Look: Bulk and Skull are going to go on to be great. But here... ughhh. They come in to comedy relief music and the girls deride them like they're the cool kids and Bulk and Skull aren't cool enough to hang out at the YouthGymJuiceBar. They ask the girls out and they say no.... and Bulk threatens them with physical violence. Evil Space Witch attacking astronauts, not cool in a children's show. Threatening women with violence though is fine. Fortunately, the girls know Bulk n' Skull's weakness... stepping slowly to the side. Thus, the day is saved.
Yeah.... let's go back to Zyuranger. Bandora and her sidekick Grifforzer fly down, with Bandora on a bike, to tell the people of Earth she's going to kill them all and to prove she means business she blows up a skyscraper. Then she bikes over to the old man and reveals he's the Wizard Barza, who then transforms into his wizarding clothes. Despite his magic girl transformation, Bandora reveals she took all of his magic when she defeated him 170 million years ago, and they have a bad special effects wizard duel. Turning garden hoses into snakes seems to be their primary method of battle.
Barza tells Bandora everything is cool now and humans are awesome and she should leave, but she reveals that she's turned the space shuttle into a model, and the kids are still on board. Her minions have rigged it so that in one hour, the sun will burn through a rope, dropping a rubber mace on the model shuttle and smashing the kids! Then she disappears with a space witch cackle.
Barza runs into the elevator, presses the buttons in a cool spy sequence, and goes down to floor 2000. Meanwhile in Power Rangers, Rita has found a moon castle.... remember when NASA sent a bunch of masons to the moon to make that? All the moon-larpers were super happy. Power Rangers has ADD, though, and quickly cuts to Jason teaching karate. Billy thinks he sucks, even though he's doing just fine... it's a remarkably realistic version of a karate class, where they're just sort of punching the air, so I don't even know how you would suck at that. Bulk and Skull interrupt the class... because we haven't yet had enough of them and demand that Jason teach them how to beat people up. Jason gives a speil about Martial Arts not being developed to hurt people, but Bulk points out that's totally not true, and Jason agrees to teach him some cool moves. Bulk is defeated by his inability to do a Hurricane kick. Man, these hyjinks sure are fun, but can we please do anything else? Like watch Zyuranger?
Floor 2000 is a sweet paradise island looking temple with a bunch of statues of dinosaurs... and a statue of a Mammoth and Tiger. Barza prays to the guardian beasts, then runs to a bunch of stone doors with more statues of said Dinosaurs and Mammals, and starts unlocking them. Inside are....
Some really bad special effects. Oh, and the Zyurangers: Goushi, Boi, Mei and Dan, who all have various royal titles. However, when he goes to open the sweet door with the Tyrannosaurus on it, the key breaks. The Zyurangers start beating on the door with their weapons, but a conveniently placed hourglass reminds Barza that the kids are in danger, and he says he'll get it open and they should go take care of that before Bandora finds where she left her real mace.
Meanwhile, on Power Rangers - a phrase I desperately hope I never get tired of - Jason is telling Billy he's great at karate, but Billy isn't so sure. Lying to your friends about how cool they are is going to be a running theme in the show. Suddenly, someone starts shaking the camera and the Gymjuiceyouthbar's only employee declares its an earthquake, dumping a whole bunch of drinks on Bulk... because he's still in this episode. He tells everyone to stay calm, which seems to be code for running into the streets and panicking.
The unaired version of the pilot cut in footage of Bandora sliding buildings around here, and I don't know why the final version doesn't. It feels less like Rita is attacking the city and more like... well, a low budget earthquake. Billy says something tells him it's not an earthquake, which would have made a lot more sense if we had any evidence that it wasn't. I guess he's just prescient.
We cut to the command center, where we're introduced to the Power Rangers' annoying robot sidekick Alpha 5, and their mentor Zordon. Alpha manages to be annoying and screeching before he even shows up on screen, so that's sort of impressive. Zordon tells Alpha that the earthquake is Rita attacking the planet and come on Power Rangers. Show don't tell! You have perfectly usable footage of Rita attacking the planet, use it! Zordon tells Alpha to teleport to him some teenagers. He flips some switches, and viola, the cast is teleported to the command center. The special effect is mediocre, but the theme song kicks in, which makes it look retro and awesome.
Despite being transported magically to what seems to be an alien space ship, the Power Rangers seem... really unconcerned. Billy keeps talking about how awesome it looks, using words even the nerdiest of nerds wouldn't use. Alpha 5 jumps out... and manages to trip uselessly. Again, despite finding a SENTIENT ROBOT, the Power Rangers act like they've seen an antique car rather than like they've been transported to an alien ship and a robot popped out! Then a giant head in a tube appears, and they nonchalantly ask "So who are you?" like they're on the Vegas strip and don't recognize these characters. Let's... go back to Zyuranger for a moment, where they act sane.
The four Zyurangers get in their motorcycles and drive to Bandora's Palace. Despite being in cryosleep for 170 million years they drive like they've always had motorcycles, and I sincerely hope we get some flashbacks to dinosaur times with them doing jumps off T-Rexes and the like. Bandora sees them coming, and gleefully exposits that they must have been sealed away in case she returned. The Zyurangers go up to Bandora's front door, and reuse their tactic of hitting it with their weapons. Maybe that's how doors worked back in dinosaur times, because it yields and opens up onto... a beach. This isn't explained, but Bandora is a witch, so I'll allow it.
The Zuyrangers assume a fighting pose, all back to back and trying to look bad ass, but abandon it when they see some little clay dolls on the beach. They kneel down to see what's up, when the dolls suddenly grow to full size and sucker punch them. While they're down, Bandora green screens in and... attacks them with special effects that makes Power Rangers look Emmy worthy.
Speaking of the Power Rangers, Zordon explains to them that Rita is attacking the planet, and he has chosen them to save it. Zach says "Yeah, right" to which Zordon responds "Awww.... a nonbeliever" like he's about to sacrifice him in the name of his sweet head-in-tube cult, but instead he directs them to the "viewing globe". Zordon's got some sweet clips from Super Sentai of Rita riding her bike through the sky, and explains that she trapped him in a time warp 10,000 years ago. Again, Power Rangers, show, don't tell. We saw Barza fight Bandora in Zyuranger, but we're just supposed to take Zordon's word on this.
The Power Rangers still don't believe any of this, so Zordon gives them their morphers and explains that they'll give them sweet dinosaur powers, which includes giant robots that will combine into a sweet Mega Zord! Jesus, Zordon, spoilers. Jason seems totally into this, but the other Power Rangers act like Zordon is their DM trying to get them to play some hippy game they've never heard of, and peer pressure him into leaving with them. Zordon takes this super well, continuing his culting with "Very well, let the power protect you!" which I kind of wish had become a Power Rangers tag line.
Back on the beach in the castle on the skyscraper in Japan, the Zyurangers fall into a pit, get zapped by lightning, trapped in a cage, then have a door shut on them. That's why you always bring 50 feet of rope into the dungeon! They try to break the cage, but Bandora's minions respond by setting the room on fire with a very nonthreatening effect. Mei remembers she has a bow, and tries to shoot them, but misses, and the cage starts spinning to make it harder for her to shoot. The rope with the mace starts to break, getting closer to the kids. It's all very tense. Barza attempts to open the Tyrano-door with a very small cannon.
But it's no use.The Zuyrangers are doomed! The Power Rangers, on the other hand, exit the command center into the dessert. Kimberlee reacts to this like she's been told she can't go out because she has to babysit her sister, rather than like she has been stranded in the middle of the desert. Before they can be attacked by Kirk and a Gorn though, Rita sends her Putties down to beat them up. Kimberlee's is instantly defeated by being grabbed on the shoulder. Zach tries to dance fight a few, Billy while uses his nerd style kung-fu to try and Jackie Chan them into each other, but neither works. Trini and Jason last longer using their real martial arts, but they are all soundly defeated. The Power Rangers kind of suck. At least the Zyurangers had green screen lightning as an excuse. Jason suggests they try the Power Morphers Zordon gave them, and the theme kicks in.
They must have heard it over in Zyuranger, because deus ex machina kicks in. Just as Barza is giving up, a T-Rex statue shoots laser eyes at the T-Rex door. We cut to the door that Bandora shut, suddenly opening, and someone in a red suit jumping in to free his comrades with his sweet sword. For some reason, Bandora doesn't know who he is, letting him introduce himself as "Prince of the Yamato clan, Geki!" In Japanese it sounds pretty bad ass and is a good heroic moment. Before the Zyurangers can celebrate though, Grifforzer flies down and a bunch of putties appear, filling the room with smoke. Technically, Bandora's grunts haven't been named yet, but since they're putties in Power Rangers, I'll call them that until the show corrects me.
We get a pretty cool fight scene. Geki sword fights Grifforzer while the other Zyurangers fight putties, making me wonder why the Power Rangers never got to use their weapons while they weren't transformed. It would have made those Juice Bar scenes way better. Barza tells them to transform, and throws them their medals, each of which have the face of their dinosaur on it... why he didn't just give them to Geki or all of them before they left I don't know. They all grab their belt buckles, and grab Power Morphers, identical to the ones the Power Rangers have, and insert the coins, transforming.
The Power Rangers' transformation scene involves them sounding off, shouting the name of their dinosaur in front of a green screen with some cool effects behind it (cool for the 90s anyway) then they're transformed, the theme song playing the entire time. The Zyurangers transform instantly, then they pose, shouting a portmanteau of their dinosaur and their name, superimposed over an absolutely terrible image of their dinosaur. Also their theme doesn't kick in until afterwards. Going to have to give a point to Power Rangers here for the cooler transformation sequence.
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Zordon, happy that the Rangers transformed, teleports them to the city so... well, let's be honest, so they can be in the same fight the Zyurangers are in. It's one thing to get beat up by minions to show you suck then use your cool new powers to beat them, but the Power Rangers just bitch out. I'm going to need that point back, Power Rangers.
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Grifforzer/Goldar jump cuts some putties in on top of the building, and the Power Rangers/Zyurangers go at it, both to their respective theme songs. I still can't decide which I like better since they're both awesome. It's worth noting that Power Rangers cuts out the end of the fight, the Yellow Ranger pulling a gun and shooting at the putties, and it's a cool shot. They kept it in the unaired pilot, but they probably wanted to appease moms or something. Zyuranger also has a further scene of Geki getting in a sword fight with Grifforzer (their guns are also swords) while the other Rangers save the kids in the model space shuttle. It's a brief but really cool fight, and it's a shame that Power Rangers didn't reuse it.
The shows go pretty different directions from here. Mei manages to save the model space shuttle, but before she can escape with it, a giant hand punches into Bandora's palace, punching her and grabbing it off the ground.
They run after it, but the hand belongs to a giant Roman centurion which the helpful subtitles label "DoraTitan". The Zyurangers react to it, wondering what it is, and Bandora laughs menacingly. DoraTitan vanishes, space shuttle in hand, and the narrator declares it "the greatest crisis in history!". To be continued....
Meanwhile, on Power Rangers, Rita is complaining about how much the putties suck now. One of her minions suggests she use her magic wand to make Goldar grow, and she does. There's actually some pretty decent editing of the Zyurangers reacting to DoraTitan here, as giant Goldar destroys the town. The Power Rangers call their Zords, the aforementioned giant robots, and jump in. They get "cool" lines when they take the pilot seat, except Kimberlee who declares "Nice Stereo."...
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They jump right from "Nice Stereo"
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to forming the Megazord. No attempts to fight giant Goldar with their normal Zords, which seems like a violation of the Power Rangers rules, but they haven't been established yet, and again the theme song kicks in, making it awesome. There's even a throwaway line about about them knowing how to pilot it thanks to their powers. The Power Rangers use the Megazord's rarely featured tank mode to blast Goldar onto his ass before switching to battle mode. Despite being unarmed and provoking attacks of opportunity all over the place, the Megazord seems to do pretty well against Goldar. But even when they knock Goldar down on his ass, again, Billy says they aren't even phasing him. Jason has a plan though and yells "Power Sword!"
Because... um... reasons, a giant sword falls from the sky and the MegaZord picks it up. As if the GM suddenly realized Goldar was way too strong for them, he bitches out before they can even swing the sword. We cut to the command center, where the Power Rangers are celebrating. Zordon lays down the law, and tells them there are three rules to being a Power Ranger.
1. Never use your power for personal gain. Fair enough, we don't want any of their uncles to die, cursing them to a life full of rambling about responsibility.
2. Never escalate a battle unless Rita forces you. This one doesn't make any real sense in the context of the show, but explains why they don't stop everything with the MegaZord. More of a rule to increase the drama than anything else, but OK.
3. Keep your identity secret. This will maximize drama but serve no other point. Seriously, Rita already knows who they are, she knew before they even morphed the first time! This will only make people close to them suspicious and hurt them. Even in the 90s, the secret identity trope had been mostly played out.
Zach points out they just won because they were lucky, but like all good GMs, Zordon lies and tells them they're awesome.
This placates Zach,and they all agree to be Power Rangers. Except Kimberlee. She doesn't think she can do it. "NOT!"
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Final Thoughts
I hate Kimberlee so much. She could not be more annoying and 90s. Knowing that she has the second longest run of any of these characters makes me pray she'll get better. Knowing Bulk and Skull outlast all of them makes my soul die a little.
The Juice Bar scenes are annoying and take up too much time, but they do help establish the characters. Zach is cool and hip, Billy is a supernerd, Kimberlee is the worst. The Zyurangers get no time for personality at all beyond Mei is the girl and Geki is the leader.
That said, Zyuranger left off on a cliffhanger that genuinely has me excited. I want to know what happens next. Meanwhile, Power Rangers blew all the big stuff. The Zyurangers transform at the end of the episode, there's still a lot to look forward to. The Power Rangers already showed off their MegaZord and it'll be hard to top that. Zyuranger has the better episode, getting it 2 points.
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Power Rangers really seemed like it had the edge, but ughhhh Kimberlee. Well, that's episode one. Tune in next week for Revival vs. High Five! Will the Zyurangers save the model space shuttle and the kids on board? Will Kimberlee become less annoying? Tune in in two weeks to find out!
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