Last Time on Video Games!: 2016

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Episode 170: Floating Heads [Mega Man X2]

Fighting robots are cool and more of them must be cooler, right? The Maverick Hunter is back again to take on some... interesting bosses. Sponges have always been pretty menacing. Those spiky whips are definitely dangerous, and it looks like an ostrich learned some sweet moves, so that's probably challenging. Also, there are speeder bikes and even more holding Y to charge your laser.

Grapple sponges snag sweet downloads.

Show Notes

(02:30) Sun Kitty!

(05:30) Look at this railgun rock's majestic beard.

(08:45) Pew!

(09:00) Malasadas and emo kids.

(13:00) Branching paths in Red and Blue.

(16:00) Complaining about Sun and Moon design decisions. At least there are sweet mullets.

(28:00) Going over our teams. Also, nami (波) means wave, for the curious.

(32:00) Mimikyu is surprisingly good.

(36:00) Based on the translation of Guzma's honorific to English, which people tell me was spot on.

(38:30) Seriously, Rattata's design sucks. At least all other variants of it are alright.

(44:00) The height of video games.

(45:00) X2 as a direct sequel to X.

(53:00) For a random sampling of levels, here's an X2 speedrun.

(1:07:00) Mega Man Rank 2!

Next time on Last Time, Fatal Fury!

So angry, we're having aneurysms at

Geremy@lasttimeonvideogames.com,
Tyler@lasttimeonvideogames.com,
Zach@lasttimeonvideogames.com,
or LTOVG@lasttimeonvideogames.com.
You can also go to the show page at plus.google.com/+LastTimeOnVideogames or comment on the site at www.lasttimeonvideogames.com.
Also, you can follow our tweets @LTOVG.

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Episode 169: Monkeys are Jerks [Donkey Kong GB]

Giant monkeys throwing barrels have been staples of video games forever, and now you can solve puzzles while fighting them! Well, they're probably only native to this franchise (and some obscure ripoffs?!), but there's definitely a couple in here. Also, jumping off of your hands is more effective than from your feet, which is novel. We'll have to test that some time.

Barrels of downloads.

Show Notes

(03:30) Sorry about the Pyschonauts ending again. Also, the lost episode.

(05:00) Triggered.

(09:50) Apparently wishes come true?

(12:30) All those Bidoofs and the Shuckster.

(17:00) Some Poke-generational comparison.

(20:00) Apparently they're doing more of them?

(23:30) Pokémon plays Twitch. It was pretty impressive.

(27:00) Puzzle monkeys!

(34:00) Mechanic hodgepodge.

(40:00) On the ladder?

Next time on Last Time, Mega Man X2!

Copy ostriches at

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Episode 168: @#^! Off, Flipper [Ecco The Dolphin]

The dolphin: sleek, majestic, and one of the most popular animals in the mid-90s. It's hard to think of another animal that rivaled the popularity of our aquatic mammalian friends, and that's probably the reason this game exists. Also, extraterrestrials, because why not? Too bad all these keys make a door.

Echolocate right over to our download.

Show Notes

(02:30) Yeah, the Genesis sure was a system, guys.

(05:30) Everyone's favorite Mega Sauyan, Gurko.

(07:10) Drifters actually looks pretty sweet, but it's obviously the same animation team as Hellsing.

(11:00) Really quickly, this is the opening we got. The travesty!

(14:20) Yay mechs.

(17:00) Not the game we thought it was, but there are a lot of adorable rabbit people.

(19:00) There have apparently been a couple ShinTen anime.

(21:30) Talking about some things we want to see in Sun/Moon (they largely came true!).

(23:00) A better dolphin world.

(25:00) Dr. Stranger. Also, more ridiculous doctoring.

(28:00) So, dolphin time. This game has a really weird plot.

(41:00) Here's a speedrun. It's more amusing than the game was intended to be.

(44:00) Pay attention to the games used as arguments for the Genesis.

(45:30) Turns out dolphins don't survive at great depths, which is where this one fell.

Next time on Last Time, Donkey Kong! The other one.

Come see some handstand jumps at

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Episode 167: Neverending Psychic Nightmare [Psychonauts]

Gather your wits and steel your mind. We're going in! Another game Tim Schafer was involved in (maybe a bit more heavily since he was directing instead of writing), this one's a bit of a trip. Come join us for some off color humor, strange visuals and... existing gameplay and storytelling.

To know your opponent's mind is to know their download.

Show Notes

* Disclaimer: We had a lot of problems finishing this episode off because computers apparently hated us the last couple of weeks. The ending is a bit abrupt because we lost the audio. Twice. Sorry for the mess! *

(04:30) RWBY vs. Twilight.

(08:00) Sentinels of Steam! It automates some of the tedium of the card game. That doesn't sound like a ringing endorsement, but it's really a fun game, we swear.

(12:45) Gameroom sure looks like a thing.

(17:00) I feel like brotherhood in Sonic games really shouldn't be dark.

(20:00) Doom is doomed to be great.

(22:45) Carl Gauss was such a badass. Look at that smirk!

(27:30) Anaconda.

(38:00) There are a lot of interesting characters, but maybe too many. Here's the opening cutscene for y'all. Anyone out there like Raz much?

(42:00) Power progression and incentives.

(51:00) While the Meat Circus is much reviled, the only part I found super annoying was this every 15 seconds.

(56:00) Podcast dies. Also, the game got ranked!

Next time on Last Time, Ecco the Dolphin!

Yoshi's favorite snack.

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Episode 166: Three Dragons Aren't Better than Two [Double Dragon 3: The Sacred Stones]

Never before have Bimmy and Jimmy™ been capable of such great flying throws. Be in awe of their ability to... be hit from slightly above, but be unable to throw a punch diagonally, so then you get stunlocked and... Anyway, the two dragon warriors are at it again to save their apparently not dead girlfriend from the clutches of some sort of crime boss. Also, to avenge their master. Sadly, jumpkicking remains the best available strategy.

Triple the double download!

Next time on Last Time, Psychonauts!

Honing our mental powers at

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Game Time

It's been a while since I posted much of anything on this site but recently a conversation with the others has gotten me to do some candid video recordings. The first couple are DOOM 2016 and a level of Payday. I'm only linking the DOOM one here in this post.

I want to make a couple things clear, this is a M rated game and there is no editing done on me or anyone that I play with. This is important since the podcast itself is technically got a clean rating. These videos will most certainly not.

That, said enjoy

More Stuff >>

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Episode 165: Paper Merit Badge [Paper Mario]

Paper so colorful, it'll have you seeing stars! Never before has Mario gone on such a world building adventure as... oh. Well, at the very least, the red-hatted hero will pick up a pile of sidekicks in this memorable stop on the endless journey to mildly inconvenience Bowser.

Legend of the seven downloads.

Show Notes

(01:15) Apparently it's morphin' time? I kinda like the new suits, though.

(03:00) The original Jiraiya had unstoppable hair.

(09:00) It's a valid fear.

(11:30) Could actually be a pretty catchy ad.

(14:30) Not for the faint of heart, here's all the glory kills.

(15:45) Quite the improvement.

(24:30) Justified. That's quite the ability. Works double on ultra beasts? Pretty sure we're talking about Meloetta here.

(27:30) After some research, it looks like ROX is probably not actually a company name of any sort. League teams do have the best names, though.

(28:00) Samsung's battery problems.

(32:00) Apparently the Wars series has been going on since Famicom.

(37:45) Neat storytelling tricks to build up the villain.

(43:15) Bow is bae.

(48:30) Combat mechanics.

(52:45) Man, do we have some things to say about Mystic Quest.

(1:14:00) Getting our ranking down on paper.

Next time on Last Time, Double Dragon 3, the least Fire Emblem game to be subtitled "Sacred Stones"!

Jumpkickin' all the time at

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Episode 164: He Shoots-- [Soccer]

Despite being the world's most popular sport (followed by cricket?!), there are surprisingly few soccer games. What can be a better starting place than one that gets right to the point and says it like it is? Dribbling on a square grid and controlling two players on defense at once can't be that bad, right?

Offside your way to a download.

Show Notes

(01:00) Vuves.

(02:00) Yeah, not really any new ships.

(08:00) 7 days to lol.

(13:40) Lucha chickens.

(16:00) Wrestle with speed! Still not as fast as the current record holder, though. A number of glitches have popped up, apparently.

(22:00) Savage Resurrection really underwhelms.

(24:00) Who doesn't like hitting things with swords?

(34:30) Time travel!

(38:00) Button woes and blocks.

(45:00) Does this game make the goal?

Next time on Last Time, Paper Mario!

No scissors at

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Episode 163: Little Girl Power [Castlevania Rondo of Blood]

Montages are cool and so is Dracula fighting! Follow our surprisingly anime protagonist through the deadly traps of Drac's castle... at least until Mario takes over and does everything for him. Heroic!

Aria of downloads!

Show Notes

(01:00) At least one of us was thinking of this.

(02:45) Stars protect us!

(03:10) Now with 'poons. It actually sounds pretty good, though.

(12:30) MGSV Spoilers, guys!

(15:20) Motorsnakles.

(19:30) End of ~~spoilers~~ nukes! Not at all relevant to anything, is Gyarados a bird?

(35:10) US-1. It was a thing.

(41:00) Windfishing.

(48:00) Rondo of intros!

(1:00:30) Rank of shadows!

Next time on Last Time, Soccer!

GOOOOOOOOOOOAL!

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Episode 162: Peasantly Plum [Mario Gold]

What does a lowly serf have to do in the Mushroom Kingdom to earn some prestige? Why, participate in the Mario Open, of course! As it turns out, Mario used to be a pretty good golfer when he was a baby. Pick, and choose, the best club for a Nice On! and compete against such notable Mario golfers as Frank and Gene Yuss. Putter on over to the nearest course and rough it up!

Hole in download!

Show Notes

(02:30) This movie is as stupid as it sounds.

(07:00) MGO is just silly.

(10:00) Pixelmon's looking really good.

(15:00) Barbarians!

(20:00) Oh, Yo-Kai. It does look pretty Pokemon.

(21:00) Squall vs. Cloud: Angst Fight!

(24:00) 605 km, or 376 miles, for Dragonite from Dratini.

(27:00) Can you run into other people?

(30:00) On the list of characters, Charlie was apparently the real name of Larry.

(41:00) Ranked under par.

Next time on Last Time, Rondo of Blood!

Emotion themed compositions for commission at

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Those awkward middle-aged years

Via DeviantArt

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Episode 161: Kill the Cows [Lords of the Realm II]

Never before has an RTS been so attached to a turn-based resource management system. We have, of course, seen the opposite, but this has a lot more... swords? Everyone likes swords, so we can promise that this game will definitely be cool. Farm meat and wheat, feed peasants, conscript and tax the daylights out of them, and make yourself some sort of proprietor of a large chunk of land!

Feed downloads to the peasantry for more troops.

Show Notes

(04:30) Survive's trailer at least seems pretty Kojima. Also, spoilers about Tyler's adventures, it was literally just one more mission. Speaking of voyeur showers, you can apparently smell awful...

(08:00) Some Hideo-PA.

(08:10) Clarification: Absol's face is too human.

(15:00) Space Hulk: Deathwing, new and FPSy.

(18:30) VNCreator! Can you make one better than that pigeon one?

(21:30) Cinematic magic.

(32:00) So many problems with the combat.

(41:30) Strategic ranks.

Next time on Last Time, Mario Golf!

Power... SHOT!

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Episode 160: As You Know, You're Listening To Episode 160 of LTOVG [Phantasy Star II]

As you know, this game is about being in a world where some monsters are running around. Because you've played this before, it should be no surprise that you and your catgirlfriend need to go stop that nonsense. I, the podcast summary writer, am directing you to listen to this.

A download slightly more useful than a catgirlfriend.

Show Notes

(04:20) And then the Zulu nation attacked.

(11:00) Basically our weekend.

(15:00) Well, excuuuse me, princess! You don't know what you're minishing.

(17:00) Stranger Things has such good music, guys.

(18:30) Scythe seems super cool.

(22:00) JRPG music. Some's better than others.

(24:00) Phantasy Star II has easily the worst example of As You Know I've ever seen. At least Nei is cool? Also some lameass attempt at villain justification.

(30:00) Ugh, the combat. TPKs are super problematic due to the fact that multiple rounds will pass.

(41:00) On the list, I suppose.

Next time on Last Time, Lords of the Realm II!

Peasants for hire at

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Episode 159: I Can't Believe It's Not GBA! [Shantae]

Arabian nights are harder than Arabian days; turns out we all misunderstood that line for a long time. Join our purple-haired misfit as she travails across... Land Land? Well, that wouldn't be surprising, given the named by an engineer towns such as Water Town, Bandit Town, and Oasis Town. Stop a sexy pirate costume from building a steam mecha and... wait... That sounds awesome. Can we just do that?

Dancing right into my download.

Show Notes

(06:00) Wonder trading! Also, it's just Galvantula. We were trying to hard.

(09:30) Sweet HM slaves!

(12:00) Uranium was banhammered. Thanks, Nintendo. Other games just aren't as popular, I guess.

(19:00) Balrogs!

(21:20) Sadly, the only clip of the sweet ship cannon I could find.

(25:00) Attack with all the subtlety of a preteen lyricist.

(29:00) A large pile of discussion about Shantae's design choices.

(30:00) A discussion about the oddly sexy art.

(32:00) Unrest sounds pretty cool.

(36:00) Sweet moves, bro.

(44:00) Only a half-ranking has weird powers like that.

Next time on Last Time, Phantasy Star II!

We, as you know, podcast at

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Episode 158: But You Can Build Your Own Coaster [Roller Coaster Tycoon]

Nothing memorializes a roller coaster ride like getting hit in the face by a pigeon right as you ride through the camera! It's too intense, and likely to induce nausea, so it's lucky that you went to a park staffed by a sufficient number of handy men. And by that, guys who seem to specialize in mopping up the results of intense roller coaster. But, what's this? Giant tweezers?!

10 Gs on this download make it pretty intense.

Show Notes

(03:00) Such Rhythm. We can fight!

(05:30) Electricity -> Amber -> Ambrose makes sense, I swear.

(09:30) There are apparently some advantages to keeping the idiots alive.

(14:30) Victory conditions, related to loss conditions.

(20:00) Screwing with guests.

(24:00) Not a death trap.

(43:00) The rank is pretty steep.

Next time on Last Time, Shantae!

Nagging harpies at

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Episode 157: Crystals are Key! [Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards]

In desperate times, a hero must be summoned. This one sucks! I'm sure that's about the 2 billionth time that joke has been used about Kirby, though. In this latest iteration, frolic through cleverly disguised corridors and throw exploding shuriken, wield mighty swords, and... ice skate? Never before has the Pink Wonder been able to combine powers (unless you discount doing so with his animal companions). Remember, with great power, comes great hilarity.

Combine Spark and Silicon to get Download!

Show Notes

(03:30) Tiny discs were so cool, though! Talking about Nintendo's lumbering transition to phone platforms.

(06:30) Not representative of the final product.

(09:45) Thems humans. Nah, they're good eating'!

(11:30) Now in 3-D(warf).

(17:30) We saved you the trouble of playing this game.

(25:00) Shards, man. Shards.

(31:00) Such game. Many multiplayer.

(35:00) Kirby + LTOVG powers = Ranking!

Next time on Last Time, Roller Coaster Tycoon!

Ups and downs with

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Episode 156: You Can Charge a Man a Lemon, but You Can't Make Him Eat [Mega Man IV]

Nothing says thrilling trilogy (thrillogy?!) quite like a fourth entry. Warp back into the fray to stop a crazy Russian man from making robots with derivative attacks capable of destroying small portions of the planet. Plus, you get new equipment! Sadly, that equipment is not Roll shooting things for you. Instead, it's a chargeable laser! We'll take it.

If you charge you download, it'll be 3 times as powerful!

Show Notes

(02:00) RWBY: Catgirl Adventures.

(06:15) The nine-tailed fox was always the master of many elements. Just like our new best friend.

(11:30) Lara doesn't always have the best line delivery, but apparently that's not a problem new to the reboot.

(19:30) Tibia: it's a game, guys. Kharsek reached level 999, which is the required level to open a door. My pet theory is that the devs didn't actually put a level limit on it, and it's just permalocked.

(24:00) Human farmer necromancers! Geremy's dwarves apparently fought zombie Saitama. It was bound to happen.

(28:30) Dem mans.

(43:30) So... Russian.

(46:00) Charge up a ranking!

Next time on Last Time, Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards!

Darth Maul knockoffs for cheap at

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Episode 155: High School Gang Simulator [River City Ransom]

Nothing says high school like roving bands of delinquents ruling the streets and banding together based on themed names. Well, at least not in Japan, that is. Here, people can just kidnap innocent girls and hide them in the farthest room to the right, and the only way to afford text books is to punch your enemies so hard they explode into bus fare. Still not sure what the ransom was, though...

Download so hard you earn money?!

Show Notes

(02:00) Your trap card isn't activated!

(05:30) Are good at drawing? Now you can summon monsters! Unless they're not a creative color.

(12:30) Marie best girl.

(15:00) Talking about some technical problems with Pokémon GO. It's now Marco without the Polo. These problems are, or course, distinct from the design problems.

(29:45) Melee at EVO 2016 was poofy.

(31:00) Nash players rock.

(32:30) Legend of Legacy sounds cool, but is kinda mediocre.

(42:30) Gerem, the revered high school brawler, takes to the streets. Take that, The Generic Dudes! It's pretty shiny for a beat 'em up.

(50:00) Beaten to death with rankings.

Next time on Last Time, Mega Man IV!

Lemonade from all those lemeons at

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Episode 154: Dragon Quest Warrior Z [Dragon Quest]

Those are some pretty threatening slimes, and that scorpion has never seemed tougher... Must be time to level grind! Geremy has often described the motivation for this game as recreating the arduous experience of climbing a mountain, and it certainly delivers. Prepare your thumb for some button mashing that even Final Fantasy has a hard time competing with, because this is going to take a while.

Downslime.

Show Notes

(04:00) Ah, the classics.

(09:30) Zach killed a snake.

(15:00) Too much power! Which is why you should always have a cup.

(16:30) Pokemon GO was a thing when we recorded this. Is it still?

(48:00) Rank up the mountain!

Next time on Last Time, River City Ransom!

Featuring a surprisingly 90s cover.

Episode 153: Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! [Golf]

Never before have we seen Mario engaging in such intense action! Carefully choosing clubs! Lining up shots! Keeping those shoulders straight! Obviously, he was practicing way before inviting everyone else to play with him so that he would have a competitive advantage. This is one of the earliest golf games, and it even includes dubiously effective wind!

Double tap right before the download to make the green.

Next time on Last Time, Dragon Quest!

Going through the grinder with

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Episode 152: Mediocre Mario [Wonder Boy]

Have you ever wondered how great life could be? Soaring through the jungles, hopping over oceans, exploring ancient tombs... It all sounds pretty great. When you actually get there, however, you may be perturbed at how much fruit you've eaten along the way. Also, it turns out that you're not great at jumping, despite being a decent skateboarder. Maybe a plumber would've been better for this.

You get bigger downloads after telekinesis powerups.

Show Notes

(02:30) Seriously, they just call her Lady.

(04:30) We give him a hard time, but Kojima's brand of insanity is recognizable enough that it might be generously called "artistic vision".

(06:15) The "weapons that hurt you" video Zach was talking about. Since recording, Tyler's revised his opinion on weapons in Spelunky to "if they're free, they're very useful".

(12:30) Fly like and eagle-dozer!

(21:00) I would watch a Let's Play of Zach in Alien: Isolation. Who's with me?

(29:30) Wrastle, brother Nero!

(30:00) Onto Wonder Boy!

(43:45) With rankings similar to Bonk!

Next time on Last Time, Golf!

Par in birdie.

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Hambone and Leona

Sorry for the lack of shownotes recently. Here's a conciliatory Zach playing League until I can populate them.

Episode 151: B****** Don't Know About My Additional Pylons [StarCraft]

Zerglings, Templars, and Siege Tanks, oh my! The game that was so popular, it basically launched e-sports as a concept. Dive into struggles of 3 races as they vie for galactic territory and, much more locally, a lot of natural gas. Have some exterminators and get ready to roll out! It's much more than Warcraft in space.

This download requires more vespene gas.

Next time on Last Time, Wonder Boy!

It's a wonder he's not dead.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Episode 150: Can We Stop Testing Our Might? [Mortal Kombat 2]

In what will become a stunning example of divergent character evolution, we now see a remarkable cast of fighters on display. Such remarkable combatants as red ninja, yellow ninja, green ninja, blue girl, and pink girl. Can anyone withstand the awesome force of Triple Ghost Fireball?

Color swapping gives you new downloads!

Next time on Last Time, StarCraft!

KERRIGAAAAAAAN!

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Episode 149: Go Away, Goliath [Gargoyle's Quest]

Join us in a world of ghosts and/or goblins that doesn't repeat itself - at least not explicitly. Some of those encounters get kind of samey. Help Firebrand, lord of awkwardly red gargoyles, defeat his dark world foes in what sadly isn't a twist revealing that Arthur is that foe. Shoot fireballs, hover, and cling to walls like some sort of monstrous ninja while also wandering a sparsely populated overworld map that's still somehow rife with random encounters.

You can fire two boomeranging downloads at once!

Next time on Last Time, Mortal Kombat 2.

Test yer moight at

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Episode 148: Ground Breaking Water Sports [Wave Race 64]

In a shocking turn of events, Geremy died and is not on this episode. Don't worry, though, because while the rest of us are riding the waves and making awesome slalom runs, our best hobomancing WIZARD is hard at work crafting a resurrection spell. Sadly, we need a couple diamonds, which might take a few weeks to gather. Find out whether this game can be used as part of the price!

Lean into it to make the download go faster!

Next time on Last Time, Gargoyle's Quest!

Sadly, we've never met Goliath at

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Episode 147: Hostile Corporate Takeover [Super Mario Land 2]

Now with twice the odd hats, Mario returns to the Game Boy to reclaim his castle (yes, Mario owns a castle) and defeat his rival! You know, the one he's always had? No, not some stupid lizard - it's Wario! Fight your way through a bizarre variety of stages, ranging from Mario's giant mechanical statue of himself to the moon, and reclaim the ostentatious keys Mario presumably fashioned for himself!

Super Last Time and the 1 blue/purple download!

Show Notes

(03:45) Psycho Pass?! Speaking of anime, this is a thing, apparently. I don't know that it can really live up to the original, but it'll definitely make money.

(08:30) Retro City Rampage. That was technically a game.

(13:00) Siege tanks?

(15:30) Let us know if you want to see Zach flail at this game! Squick alert. Apparently the Fight Club game did this (listen to that gravel!).

(23:40) In case you want to learn some trivia about MK.

(24:30) P4A looks surprisingly solid.

(29:30) Vaguely related, some Mario fauna.

(44:00) Being ranked gives you 100 feathers!

Next time on Last Time, Wave Race 64!

Let's race a dolphin at

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Episode 146: [Tony Hawk's Pro Skater HD]

Time to do some sick tricks and catch some gnar! Come with us as we follow one skating celebrity and a bunch of people that no one outside of the community has ever heard of (and a mystical bum!) on a journey to... collect stuff around places that are oddly devoid of life. Now that I think on it, does this game take place in a dystopian future where you're so bored without human contact that you contrive a ton of ridiculously complicated skating scenarios for yourself? Probably not. Also, we played Overwatch this week; can you tell?

Madonna, Benihana, it's Impossible to download.

Show Notes

(00:45) Yeah, that was pretty 90s.

(04:00) Turrets still suck, but at least the AI will help you up now.

(06:00) Why is the original always the best?

(11:30) Xenoverse does have amusing cutscenes, so that's something, I guess.

(16:30) ICE WALLS!

(18:00) Reinhardt and Mercy.

(20:30) Overwatch shenanigans. It's pretty polished. Unlike some other games?

(25:40) This Reaper skin.

(29:15) Apparently only 150 hours; must be a casual.

(31:45) Yes, Nintendo, that was a joke.

(34:30) Even the theme reminds of Lupin.

(38:00) The Lupin III board game has instructions in both English and Italian; just the pieces are Italian.

(40:00) Luffy bounces but he don't fall down! Bones are seriously overrated anyway.

(51:30) 720 rank grind!

(56:45) Settling the score.

Next time on Last Time, Super Mario Land 2!

We have whole bins of golden coins at

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Episode 145: Smell Ya Later! [Pokémon RBY]

It's not uncommon to want to excel at your chosen field, and maybe even to be the very best. Perhaps you want to catch and train some things in a manner no one has attempted before. Of course, in order to take a true measure of your talent, you might have to travel, and, in fact, search for rivals and tools. Ultimately, though, to prove your mastery, you will have to become formidable with each tool of your trade: portable monstrosities.

Can you just download copies of Pokémon, or are they DRM protected?

Show Notes

(03:30) Suddenly evil!

(05:30) Stop squiddin' around, Stairfax!

(07:45) We didn't start the fire, that guy did.

(10:00) Yes, Kojima, we've all read books.

(12:00) Hmm hmm, hmm hmm hmm.

(13:15) At least one of us is going to play a lot of this game soon.

(17:00) This game is rated very well on a number of scoring systems.

(24:40) Japan is cool with cute.

(25:30) Golduck is such a BAMF, unlike that chubby rat.

(28:30) Why are psychic weak to bugs? Mind == blown.

(31:30) We all like shorts.

(35:00) Bugs are trash, Aaron. Maybe he got stuck in a forest.

(38:30) Speaking of trash Pokémon. Also, can we all agree that Mr. Mime is just super creepy?

(43:00) Golbat dance!

(50:00) No bags of holding.

(57:00) Elite 4 difficulty cliff. Poor Nuzlockers.

(1:02:00) Platinum and GSC had excellent post game.

(1:05:00) Gotta rank 'em all!

Next time on Last Time, Tony Hawk's Pro Skater (HD?!)!

Indy Stiffy to Japan Air to

Cactuar?

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Chatter Propelling Character and Narrative: Star Fox 64 vs Star Fox Zero

New episodes are coming! Next week, our episode on Star Fox 64 will finally drop; we are in fact recording right now! To hold you over in the mean time, here's an essay comparing Star Fox 64 with the recently released sequel/remake, Star Fox Zero. At the time of writing this, I'd finished Star Fox Zero's Story Mode, and explored a few alternate paths, but not all of them. However, that's more than enough to talk about the core experience of each game.

There's been a move lately, and by lately, I mean over the last 20 years, to make video games more and more "cinematic". Michael Bay movies are critical flops, and yet the visuals still draw people in. No matter how many nerds scream on the internet about boring stories, people will pay to see interesting things explode. The same thing can apply to video games right? Video games can tell stories no other mediums can, so why do so many try to emulate cinema? It's not a new complaint. One of Pokémon creator Satoshi Tajiri's first published articles was a review of Mother, saying it was well written but a bad game, and thus would have been better as a book or movie. But fancy graphics, higher costs and voice acting have all pushed games to strive to be more and more movie like - when they don't have to. They can be more like Star Fox 64.

Star Fox 64 wasn't the first game to use voice acting. Arcade games had it as a way to attract players in the early 90s. Night Trap brought full motion video, including actual "acting", to home consoles in 1992. Resident Evil and Jill sandwiches were around a year prior, and PC games had been able to use it for a long time. But the Nintendo 64's stubborn use of cartridges made programming in voice acting a technical challenge, and Star Fox 64 was the first game to include it on the console. As a Nintendo kid growing up, it was the first game I saw with it, and I was hardly alone in that. And like any new feature you can put on the back of a box, Nintendo wanted to show it off at every opportunity. The characters in Star Fox 64 are constantly chattering. Your wingmen, your foes, even Fox himself has a lot to say - for a Nintendo protagonist, anyway. But unlike some modern games, Star Fox 64 never lets its dialogue get in the way of game play. The game has cutscenes, but only between levels, and none of them last longer than a minute. The game begins with a Star Wars style text crawl, but after that, the story is told entirely though dialogue that occurs during game play. Its easy to keep on shooting down enemy planes by the hundreds while listening to someone talk, and that's really what you're there for, trying to shoot as many people down as possible and chase that high score.

Even Bioware games have to stop the action in order to tell their story. When you're making story line decisions in Mass Effect, you're not shooting people, and when you're shooting people, you're not making any choices that effect the plot or characters. I'm one of those people who wishes that Mass Effect had a button to skip the combat. I'm there for the story and to make moral decisions, and all the pew pew shooting gets in the way. But I'm sure things are just as frustrating for those who come to the game looking for a Gears of War clone and have to slow down to talk to Miranda about their feelings. How many great action movies have the heroes admitting they love each other while hiding behind cover, waiting to pop up and shoot? How many dramatic kisses have taken place right before a character charges down a hallway screaming and shooting? Why doesn't Bioware try to be more cinematic in that way? The action movies that Bioware is trying to emulate use action scenes to add stakes to character development all the time. Why can't I tell Garrus that this is just like Virmire before I pop out from cover and start shooting back? Why can't I remind Tali I love her right before leaving cover to do something reckless? Star Fox's characters aren't nearly as complex as Mass Effect's and it would be tricky to give Shepard dialogue choices in the middle of combat, but Star Fox did this perfectly in 1997.

The constant chatter of Star Fox 64 instantly teaches us about the characters. Slippy is young and reckless, and prone to getting himself into trouble. Peppy is wise and learned, but getting to old for this. Falco is cool but rude, a capable pilot, but not quite as capable as he thinks he is. No one has to tell us this; every line the characters spout reinforce the characters' personalities. Peppy gives you the tutorials because he's the one who's done all this before. Fox speaks very little, but when he does it's to give commands, or to deliver cool one liners. Sure, Slippy is always getting in trouble, but it's because he's the new guy. Falco usually gets into a jam trying to show off and help you. Most games have dialogue in combat, but it's usually barks, things you'll have heard a thousand times by the time the game is over. In Star Fox 64 lines are almost never repeated. Yes, Falco always responds to friendly fire the same way, and Slippy's "Fox, get this guy off me!" is infamous, and there's more than one level where Peppy advises you do a barrel roll, but most of the dialogue is custom written for the situation. Star Fox is on rails, making this easy to do, but if Bioware can come up with a few detailed conversations for party members to have while you wait for the elevator, conversations many players don't see the first time through, why can't they come up with a few for combat?

Once Star Fox's characters are established, they're used for more than just chatting at you or telling you to press B for your bombs. They're used to enhance the levels, making them more unique and memorable. Sector X is a horror themed level, an homage to movies like Alien. But it's pretty hard to scare a player in a rail shooter; there's no chance of you going the wrong way and every enemy that appears on screen can be killed, most with a single shot. The creepy music is an excellent start and enemies appear sporadically, leaving quiet moments for you to just contemplate what's happening. But the level really gets going when a giant robotic arm flies at you, and as it passes the normally too cool for school Falco asks "What the Heck is that?". His next line, a few moments later after you have time to consider it, is "Something's not right here.". Sure, it' s not going to keep you up at night, or make a Youtuber comically throw their controller in fright, but it establishes a tone of mystery and dread, giving Sector X a very distinct feel. There are five different space levels in Star Fox 64, but little things like this make Sector X feel different from every one, even though you're guaranteed to have already played through one before it.

By contrast, the use of voice in Star Fox Zero is completely flat. At first, I was willing to attribute this to simply preferring the older voice actors, but the longer I played, the less interesting the chatter seemed to get. When trying to decide if I was going to purchase Star Fox Zero, the first review I read said the story was disappointing. The story was the last thing I cared about in Star Fox 64 - or so I thought. Star Fox Zero feels flat and uninspired in a lot of ways, but what I really noticed was the difference in how the characters are presented to you. Star Fox Zero's level design is pretty boring, but perhaps it could have been spiced up if the characters had more to say about it! Unfortunately, when the characters in Star Fox Zero decide to talk, it seems to be either to remind you that you're there, or remind you about your mission objective. For the fifth time. With the same line of dialogue. There isn't a creepy level, in fact the various space levels do almost nothing to distinguish themselves from one another. Just a day after playing through the game, they've pretty much mixed in my memory in a way where I can't tell one apart from the others. But if Peppy and Slippy had spoken up about anything in particular, perhaps they'd have felt a bit more different.

In fact, the one level of Star Fox Zero that manages any effect with its voice acting is Zoness, a stealth level that Fox enters alone. The complete lack of chatter manages to give that level a rather distinct feel, making it feel a lot more like a caper, a sneaky infiltration. It does, however, mean that tutorials are given to you with on screen advice, instead of being piped right into your ear. For some reason this game decided Slippy should be the one to teach you things though, so maybe that's for the best. Of course, that quiet time ends when Fox runs into Team Star Fox's sometimes ally Katt. Zoness is Katt's debut in Star Fox 64 as well, where her personality asserts itself right away. Her first line for there is a confident "Make way for Katt!" as she flies in and takes out a few enemies for you. Falco responds with an annoyed "Katt, can't you go bother some one else!?" and right away, we know there's a prior relationship with her, and sort of what her deal is. There's no background on her, she's never been mentioned before, and you can count all her possible lines on your hands. But when she leaves, you're asking questions. Who is she, why was she here, how does she know Falco? And you hope to see her again, to perhaps get a few answers. By contrast, in Star Fox Zero, Katt is stuck, and needs you to save her. Right away she's been reduced to a damsel in distress, and while her intro does sort of hit on her flirty personality, the only thing you're likely to remember is her telling you what you need to do to free her about 10 times while you fumble around trying to figure out how to do it. I'll take Slippy distracting the bad guys for me while I shoot them off him over that any day.

Both games begin with the same level: Corneria, the peaceful Earth-like planet the good guys call home, under attack by the evil forces of Andross. I examined both scripts, expecting to find that Star Fox 64 would have a lot more chatter than Star Fox Zero. I was wrong. Star Fox Zero has 48 lines of dialogue on its first level, while Star Fox 64 has a mere 27. Even when you account for the fact that Star Fox Zero's version of Corneria lasts almost twice as long, Zero has more lines per minute than its predecessor. So why does it feel like Star Fox 64 has so much more to say? The very first line from 64 is delivered by Peppy, an emphatic "Slippy get back here!". Right away it establishes Slippy as reckless, and Peppy as wise and fatherly. It also dovetails right into the first of the game's segments that require you to help one of your wingmen in trouble, teaching you about it through play. Once you've dealt with that, Fox has a simple expository line. "We're entering Corneria City now" to which Falco replies "This is horrible.". Again, it sets a tone. It makes you look at the destruction Andross's forces are causing, makes you notice the buildings that are toppling over, and perhaps makes you even more excited to shoot down these invaders. It also establishes that while Falco is a bit of a jerk, he's a good person - he's fighting Andross because at the end of the day, he's at least decent enough to not want to see anyone get hurt. Last but not least, all four of our main characters have spoken, and we've learned a lot about three of them.

By contrast, the first line in Star Fox Zero's version of Corneria is "I've never seen anything like that! Everybody stay alert!" Again, the line is from Peppy. Again, it establishes him as fatherly, but it doesn't contrast him against any of the other characters, and if you don't know he's the veteran on the team, you might mistake him for a new guy. "That" is a pretty impressively sized ship, a new foe not present in Star Fox 64, so it's clearly supposed to establish that as a new threat, but it's easy to misinterpret. The next line is the same line from Fox in the N64 version, "We're entering Corneria City now.". But instead of characterizing Falco next, we get a line from Slippy, where he eagerly tells Fox to "Follow me.". This establishes him as brash, and we get Peppy's "Slippy get back here!" but it now feels like a hollow echo of the scene in the N64 version, because nothing bad happens to Slippy. In fact, he starts giving you tutorials! Slippy is the one who explains rings to you, as well as how to use your boost, making him seem like the veteran. This would be one thing if Peppy already had a lot of lines and they needed to balance it out, but Slippy dominates the conversation. In fact, Falco doesn't get a line at all until about 3 minutes into the level. And when Slippy once again gets chased to show off how that works in the new game, it's with a simple "Help, Fox, I'm being chased." Very bland, and no one else comments on the situation. These are lines we've heard before, but instead of "Remember this?", a feeling the designers no doubt intended you to have, the only thing you can think is, "I've seen this all before.".

But that, ultimately, is a good summation of Star Fox Zero. Pretty bland. There are a lot of reasons for Star Fox Zero's mostly tepid response. The controls are new and different, and by the time you're starting to get used to them and see what they can do that wouldn't be possible with the more common twin stick controls you might expect, the game is over. The level design is uninspired. There are fewer levels, fewer branching paths, and fewer alternate ways to beat levels to unlock them. Shooting down enemies and getting a high score feels as good as it did in 1997 but Platinum Games, revered for the depth of their combat systems, hasn't added anything new or interesting to Nintendo's long dormant franchise. Given how no one working on the game seemed to be inspired, I doubt better dialogue could have saved the game. However, with all the reviews bitching about the controls and how short the game is, or how it's just a retread of a game that's 20 years old - all valid complaints - I didn't want the dialogue to get lost in the shuffle. "Do a barrel roll" is so ingrained in nerd culture it has a Google Easter egg. It's not a line that's said in a particularly comical way, it's not clever, and it doesn't have any impact on the plot, and there are far better lines in the game. But hearing it instantly brings me back to that feeling of enemies covering the screen, to the sound effect of laser fire bouncing off my Arwing as I spin and destroy my foes. I can hear the rewarding sound of a ring popping up for destroying them all right now. I just played through Star Fox Zero, and there's not a line in the entire game that will make me feel anything at all.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Cheap Nintendo Games, Lightly Used

https://www.humblebundle.com/friends-of-nintendo-3ds-wiiu

For those of you who have current Nintendo consoles (3DS or Wii U), Humble's got a bundle starting at $1. The new Shantae is in there!

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Episode 143: Hip Hip, Zoombinis! [Zoombinis]

Much like a pack of misshapen lemmings, these little guys will bugger on through with any commands you give them so long as it appears that you're solving a puzzle. Make some pizzas, fire some mud balls, and generally have a great time making it to your new home.

You can only download two items with file types matching a hidden rule.

Show Notes

(07:00) The unfortunately poor consensus on the writing in FE: Birthright.

(14:30) Apparently Fire Emblem is too hard and that's definitely the reason they're not getting new followers.

(20:00) The Dark Knight ability we're talking about is Dark Nebula. I accidentally wiped my entire party the first time I used it.

(25:30) Bards and Mime Bombs!

(27:00) Yes, we're only just now discovering Dresden Codak. Yes, it's amazering.

(29:00) Zombonies would be an acceptable parody.

(35:00) Seriously, it's just cheese bread, guys.

(40:00) Who shot me?! Also, the Surprisingly Well Ranked Game of Zoombinis.

Next time on Last Time, Star Fox 64!

Insert dank Star Fox memes here.

Thursday, April 7, 2016

Episode 142: 88 Miles Per Hour [Sonic CD]

If you thought a DeLorean was an inelegant vehicle to house a time travel device, consider a pair of bright red buckle shoes. That said, the general fashion faux pas can easily generate 1 point 21 jiggawatts of embarrassment energy, so perhaps it's actually more efficient than plutonium. Join us on an epoch spanning adventure to stop Robotnik from... doing evil things? Mecha Sonic's here, so at least that's neat. Also, Amy... I guess?!

Figure 8 into a rare triple download.

Show Notes

(01:00) The laser disc being referred to was in an episode of Bebop, but apparently that show is old enough that it came out in that format.

(01:15) Not that the content is particularly interesting, but I would like the listeners to be in awe of how many changes Alpha 14 of 7DTD had.

(09:00) Speaking of non-lethal options. Also, cheeps! Cheeps?

(20:00) Hartler.

(33:00) You can skip Batman v. Superman if you were even considering it.

(37:00) Vampires vs. Zombies is the movie whose title we were trying to remember.

(41:00) Apparently Tien's third eye lets him see ghosts.

(45:00) Being unable to unring a bell makes a lot more sense in the context of a deleted scene.

(49:30) A bit of console history if you're interested.

(50:00) Time travel is cool, right?

(57:30) Cool bosses, bro!

(1:03:00) Back to the days of future past!

Next time on Last Time, Zoombinis!

Whatever you are, make us a pizza!

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Now that's using your head!

Via DeviantArt.

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Episode 141: Air Man's Revenge [Mega Man II]

Everyone loved metal blades, so why not put some of those in greyscale? It can't be that much of a difference anyway. Also, we should definitely add a jackhammer because people love construction! Take a Rush Jet with us to the next installment of Sorta-Porting™ the Mega Man franchise to the Game Boy. Did we mention metal blades?

Now mashing our last download and our next one together!

Show Notes

(01:10) Bloody mintberries.

(01:30) You should check out some Smash Flashes.

(05:00) If you haven't played Bravely Default yet and want to master all the classes, just wait until you get a level 9 Conjurer to do it. They basically added endgame grinding mechanics.

(07:30) Talking about the technical difficulties of cross-platform development.

(14:00) Zach talks about Fates.

(24:30) Tsunderplanes.

(29:00) Go learn about Ultima. It seems pretty sweetawesome.

(32:00) Mega Menz! Also, this guy for some reason.

(42:00) Will this game achieve the coveted Lemon Medal?

Next time on Last Time, Sonic CD!

Gotta go past!

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Episode 140: Swamp Steve [The Adventures of Bayou Billy]

One man's swamp is every man's death trap. For as much as people make fun of Australia as being a place where all life evolved to kill humans (except koalas, I suppose), swamps are pretty deadly. There are blue shirted guys, scuba guys, guys with rocks, croco-guy-les. Truly, the deadly forces of nature are arrayed against our brave hero, who just can't seem to G-R-A-S-P how to effectively fight in the bayou.

Downloads make better weapons than Billy's fists.

Show Notes

(02:45) Pennies are inefficient.

(07:10) OMG Slimes! Slime Rancher is super adorable and shaping up to be a pretty great game. It's currently only got about 4-6 hours of content, but it's got a lot of potential and the devs appear to be really dedicated.

(12:30) Want to blow a few minutes finding Waldo?

(26:30) Who actually wants to control their trained fighters?

(31:30) ASU is not actually in a swamp, in case you're curious.

(35:00) 3 different game types! Punching, shooting, and drive-shooting!

(39:00) Amanda Conner actual does cool arts.

(41:00) Don't cry any crocodile tears over this rating. Too much?

Next time on Last Time, Mega Man II!

Rush performing YYZ at

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