Last Time on Video Games!: 2013

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Episode 42: Excessive Celebration [Tecmo Bowl]

High fives, and no play clocks! Also, only 4 plays for each side, so it's super simple. Touchdown!

Make a forward play for the download!

(02:20) Dude, bro! Jason's on the show with us!

(04:20) C'mon and grab your friends. Also, we talk briefly about some terrible games.

(07:30) Zach and Tyler relay the epic story of building Zach's computer.

(08:00) Pluggin' the fantasy league again!

(10:30) A processor that's designed to run around 60 C running at about 100C seemed to be our problem.

(12:00) Zach's current power setup. Also, a discussion of current problems with our power systems.

(14:30) Meddling kids... Time compression!

(16:00) Podcast topic, I choose you!

(17:00) More self-reference.

(20:00) We challenge Tyler's gamer cred.

(24:00) An absurd conversation about a universe where the names of plays in sports are sponsored.

(24:50) Gankorade, now in delicious Gun!

(29:00) Best high five ever. Also... the half time show. I wish it at least had this music.

(31:30) Gameplay choices!

(38:00) Indianapolis Narwhals! Also, our final thoughts.

(43:00) Weird forms of DRM.

Next time on Last Time, Duck Tales Remastered!

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You can also go to the show page at plus.google.com/+LastTimeOnVideogames or comment on the site at www.lasttimeonvideogames.com.
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Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Episode 41: We Will Build A Wall [Life Force]

This week, we look at the sequel to one of our (read: Tyler's) favorite games for the show: Life Force! It's basically Gradius, but not! Get ready for some fancy flying as we veer up and slightly to the left of a pretty good game and into the territory of what we're actually playing.

I'd take an option that just downloads things for me while I walk around.

(01:30) Sweet new mixer time! Internet celebrities.

(04:00) Join the hosts (not Tyler) in playing LoL some time! State of Decay is still awesome. Pills are super helpful. Also, I found this, and it's awesome.

(09:30) Another DayZ comparison; maybe Tyler has PTDZD.

(10:20) These flash games are fun.

(14:00) For posterity! It's an anime-themed fighter.

(17:20) Seriously, don't give these people money.

(18:45) Geremy's 3 gripes with Arkham Origins' combat changes.

(24:00) Detective mode!

(28:00) *Sean Connery voice* Yesh, fluffy...

(32:00) Spoilers(?) for New Horizons.

(36:30) Join Geremy's Fantasy eSports league!

(39:30) Life Force! It has some arbitrary problems. It's basically Gradius with cooler bosses and multiplayer.

(46:30) We talked about this one a while ago, but apparently it's applicable to a space shooter?

(50:00) Consequenceless deaths as a teaching tool. It can also be painful.

Next time on Last Time, it's Tecmo Bowl!

We're open!

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Episode 40: Gotta Go Fast [Mach Rider]

Now that we're back into it, let's speed things up! In a dystopian future, there really ought to be more mutants or something. At least there are oil spills everywhere. Zoom!

Don't come up on this download from behind... it might explode!

(01:00) Everyone now plays League of Legends. Except Tyler. Mann vs. Machine exists, still!

(03:00) Arkham City was pretty good. "Koreanism." What a twist!

(09:00) Heroes of Might and Magic is a pretty cool series. Risk of Rain, guys!

(11:00) Starwhal: Just the Tip is every bit as amusing as a game about celestial narwhals stabbing each other with their lightsaber horns ought to be. Antichamber is confusing, but amusing. Myst is used to be good?

(15:30) Tyler's Minecraft server (currently vanilla) is at home.lasttimeonvideogames.com! Let me know if you want to join and I'll add you to the whitelist.

(17:00) Brawl n' Fortune Street: a dangerous combination. Arkham Origins is apparently not as good as the others, but still fun.

(21:00) Special Beam I can't pronounce that! Pretty sweet board games.

(26:00) Kagome!

(26:30) Since half of our listeners played it with us, I'll just say this: Prepare to fire!

(35:00) Mach Rider! Not the same thing...

(41:00) Hi, I'm Batman!

Next time on Last Time, Life Force!

You get options when you talk at us at

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Episode 39: Pirates are Cool, Oh My God [Uncharted Waters: New Horizons]

After a "totally planned we swear" hiatus, we're back with what might be one of the most awesome games about sailing and pirates ever. Also, there are assassins. It's also not the one you're thinking of. This week, we trade, steal, and sail our way to world domination with a remarkably accurate map of the 1520s!

Downloading now decreases the overall price of downloads in this country, allowing you to sell them for more in Turkey!

(01:00) Giant turkeys and ice worlds. Also, adorable.

(02:30) All the stuff we've been playing. Zach's playing LoL now, so officially everyone in the world is.

(07:10) Dat noise. You seriously had to listen to this every time.

(08:30) Did someone say pirates?

(13:00) On a tangent, a game about a time traveling thief musician.

(14:30) Shanties!

(16:20) We talk (read complain) about game pacing. Arkham Asylum allows you to look around and stuff during the opening scene.

(26:00) New Horizons' cutscene problems: early 16-bit sprites moving around randomly is not entertaining.

(28:00) This game has 6 discrete scenarios. Like some other game by the same company.

(30:00) Go get famous. Discover the dodo. Attack everyone! Sell stuff and invest in cities! There are a ton of different ships. Sail the entire known world. Just skim this really quick to get an idea of the scope.

(35:00) You will likely end up with multiple food ships, like the Food, the More Food, the Pantry, or the Fridge.

(36:00) Naval combat is broadside, but you don't really have much control over what happens. Your team just kinda mills around. You can also duel people. Fun.

(42:00) Crew is expensive. It's like they eat or something.

(43:00) This game as a sweet mercantile system. You can affect the price index of items in a port so you can buy stuff for cheap after selling a ton of similar goods there, then take the more expensive items to ports with higher price indices. It's objectively great.

(50:00) Like sea-faring exploration and being a merchant? Play this!

Next time on Last Time, we're achieving supersonic speeds with Mach Rider.

Zoom on over to us!
We're in the post-apocalyptic future at

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Episode 38: Punching Stuff [Punch-Out!!]

Left, Right, Duck, Uppercut! You can only do a handful of things in this game, and it's not nearly that dramatic, but it's still fairly entertaining. Join us in knocking out King Hippo and enjoying some sweet training montages. Adrian!

There's a pattern to this download... Deck it!

Next time on Last Time, it's Uncharted Waters!

You can sell high with us!

Host Change!

Hey, Internet! We're currently hosted through GoDaddy. The bad news is that GoDaddy sucks. The good news is that our account is expiring and I've got a much better hosting service lined up. However, I need to migrate stuff, so the site and downloads may not work quite right over the coming weekend, so watch out for that.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Episode 37: Master of English, Hahahahaha! [X-Men]

In a world where people mutate to be able to shoot lasers n' stuff somehow, some of those people are dicks. Some of these dicks also happen to be Master of Magnet! Help us disco laser him, X-Chicken!

Welcome to download!

(01:00) Other X-Men games. Tyler's got a vanilla Minecraft server up constantly; email him if you want in. Zach's been playing The Bigs 2, an arcade baseball game, which is way cbetter than Bases Loaded. We talk about Zelda timelines for a bit, so go watch this thing +Edgar Diamond found.

(08:45) We talk about Mass Effect 2 compared to Bioshock for a bit.

(12:00) Pokemon. Because of course.

(17:30) Hearthstone. Their landing page says it all.

(23:00) All the goofy things this game says. Just... this. There's also a plot, I think. Xavier seems to like ranting about it, at least.

(30:00) Mutant powers! All the bosses monologue, which is just great.

(40:00) Between the Japanese and the American version, the Japanese has powerups and is therefore superior. As an added bonus, this game is up to 6 players. It's pretty mediocre aside from the camp, though.

(44:00) Wolverine is headmaster. That explains the wonderful decisions the students regularly make.

Next time on Last Time, Punch-Out!!...!

Come fisticuffs with us at

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Episode 36: Guys Who Turn Into Guys Without Shirts [Altered Beast]

This week we look at possibly one of the sweetest games ever! If it were an anime, that is. Turn into a werewolf, dragon, and a golden werewolf as you fight an evil dude to save Athena! Because Athena would totally need saving!

Watch out! It's changing into a... download?!
Contact info, guys!

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Episode 35: Did Anyone Actually Watch This Movie? [Super Star Wars]

Back to form this week with a game Tyler's been pushing for a while. Apparently LucasArts made games for each of the movies in the nerd-beloved franchise, closely following the movies. Like that one scene where Luke fights a Sarlac after wandering through a scorpion-infested desert with a blaster.

It's away! ... Nevermind, it just downloaded on the surface.

(00:45) Bad impressions. Wind Waker is still awesome. Don't support this company by clicking this link. Adventure modes are sweet, though. Also, we talk about less crappy online pay models.

(09:30) Zach's been playing Pokemon. It's awesome. Also, Gundam!

(15:00) Eldritch looks awesome.

(16:45) Favorite and least favorite licensed games. Yu Yu Hakusho is a good show, but this is a bad game. Arkham Asylum is awesome. Play it. Endless Duel! Gihren's Greed is apparently amazing, too. Moonwalker...

(24:00) Super Star Wars should have been good. Watch Luke run. This game has some control issues.

(28:00) Arbitrary difficulty. Sometimes it's fun, though. Also, edification time!

(34:00) Only the most American characters in a franchise can do this.

Next time, it's Altered Beast!

Rise from your graves and talk at us!

Bonus Episode 4: Castlevania

For our first Halloween, why not a vaguely horror themed game? We only talk about it every episode, so it's about time we got around to recording one on it. Alex rejoins us, and we talk about character alignments! Whip it good!

Swallow our download to gains its abilities!

(00:30) We talk about sexy existential dilemmas.

(06:00) Jump arch matrimony!

(08:50) Angry lesbian stories. Also, wall chicken.

(18:00) Sub-items, and why they're actually useful in this game.

(21:00) Mechanics! Not that kind.

In summation, play Castlevania. It will enrich your life.

Friday, October 25, 2013

The Ratings: October

Two bonus episodes really made the month of October feel short here at LTOVG. However, that won't stop me from rating games. In honer of spooktoberfest, this ratings column will be extra special. In addition to a normal rating, and extra SPOOKY rating will be next to it in orange, so that you know how appropriate each game is to play on Halloween. Check it out after the jump.

Super Smash Bros. 10/10 1
Despite being a great game, Super Smash Bros. isn't spooky at all! None of the stages even have a spooky theme, how hard would it be to get some dead tress in there? And none of the characters have any costumes that are even remotely spooky. Wouldn't that be awesome? Dark Link shows up in Brawl, but where my Zombie Pikachu? Huh Nintendo? Huh?

Mega Man X 9/10 3
Mega Man X has bot a forest level, and a factory level, a factory level that can be crashed into by a ship leaving to totally dark. That's a little spooky, but there's no especially scary level, and none of the bosses are even remotely spooky. I guess there's a Spider Robot in Sigma's fortress that might be spooky if you're afraid of spiders, but other then that, not spooky at all. You should play it on Halloween anyway, because you should play it on every day.

Castlevainia Symphony of the Night 9/10 7
Alright Castlevainia, this should be spooky right? Well... SotN is trying that's for sure, with all the tentacle monsters and the gothic castle, and even having you play as a vampire who can suck blood from his enemies to heal himself. Unfortunately, like a lot of bad horror movies, the dialog drags it down and sometimes makes it hilarious rather than funny. Still, C for effort SotN.

Super Metroid 9/10 6
Super Metroid starts out by making you feel isolated in this strange alien world. As you go deeper and deeper, and more lava starts showing up, it starts to feel like a decent into hell. However, you're a badass bounty hunter which detracts from the spookyness quite a bit, and the aliens invading the place makes you want to defend it, making you a part of the landscape rather than a visitor. Still, very nice visuals.

Castlevania 9/10 10
Castlevainia is great guys. As I've said before, the theme combines haunted house with Monster B-Movie, and it creates a really spooky atmosphere. Sure, you're a bad ass Dracula-Hunter, but your whip has this delay and your jumps have this rigidness that make you plan everything out before you do it. Make you think. Make you scared. Castlevainia is great. And spooky. Play it.

Mega Man 2 8/10 4
Mega Man 2 has both a spooky forest level, (that's not that spooky) and a factory level. So what puts it ahead of Mega Man X on the spookometer? Well one, the factory level is a lot more mechanical and spooky. But two, the best weapon in the game is a buzz saw, so you spend most of the game chopping up robots with Buzz Saws. Now that's spooky!

Mega Man 8/10 1
Nothing really spooky about the first Mega Man sadly. Even Wiley's castle doesn't have a skull on it like in Mega Man 2. Oh well.

The Legend of Zelda 8/10 4
For featuring a protagonist who's main trait is supposed to be courage, The Legend of Zelda doesn't give you many spooky adversaries to overcome. Sure, you slowly go into dungeons and fight horrible monsters at the end, and it has all the spookyness that comes with going out on an adventure, but it never does anything especially frightening, at least not as far as I got into it.

Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars 8/10 2
Mario isn't very spooky. The Boos are a scary idea, but there's not even a haunted house in this game. RPG combat is less spooky then actual platforming as well. Geno is kind of creepy I guess, being a living puppet, but he's also basically an angel which negates that.

Gradius 7/10 6
In space no one can hear you scream. That's pretty spooky. Easter Island heads are also pretty spooky, and this game has a lot of them. You die a lot, which deflates a lot of that spookyness, but Gradius is actually sort of up there on the spooky front.

Ogre Battle 64: Person of Lordly Caliber 7/10 4
Ogre Battle has spooky demons and ogres and gorgons and all sorts of scary stuff! That said, nothing they do is all that scary. They're just presented as enemies to fight. That's fine, but the way monsters act is sort of what creates the line between fantasy and horror, and while there's a lot of overlap, Ogre Battle 64 is pretty clearly in the fantasy camp.

Castlevainia II: Simon's Quest 7/10 11
That's right bitches. Castlevainia II is even spookier than Castlevainia! It's got legends about how terrible it is surrounding it, and it's about going to different mansions and getting something from each. Trick or Treating is quite spooky, and it ends in Dracula! What could be spookier than all that?

Doom 7/10 5
Doom is similar to Super Metroid and Ogre Battle 64 when it comes to spooky. It uses all sorts of demons, and you literally descend into hell as you go. However, you also get more and more powerful sci-fi guns as you go along, becoming more and more able to deal with the challenges you face. The Demons aren't really scary, they're there to be overcome, which makes it a power metal fantasy rather than a horror game. Still, at least there's some potential for spooky.

Metroid 7/10 4
Metroid has a similar feeling of loneliness and decent as Super Metroid. It also feels more like you're the invader, and the various creatures attacking you are natives, which increases the spooky feel. Unfortunately, the graphics aren't as good, and it feels less like a decent into hell and more like, well a video game than its sequel.

Super Mario Bros. The Lost Levels 6/10 5
Lost Levels!? Those sounds spooky right! And this game is also a big of a legend, being so hard it was only released in the mythic land of Japan. It's still just Mario though. Much harder than the other games, but not especially scary.

Super Mario Bros. 6/10 3
Itsa Mario. Itsa got underground caves and creepy castles and dragon turtles youa put into lava. Ok, maybe itsa little spookier than I thought thinking about it, but itsa not a really that spooky.

Super Mario Bros. 2 6/10 5
Mario Bros 2 is all actually a dream! Spoilers. That means none of the Spooky things within can actually hurt you (unlike other videogames which aren't a dream) which makes it less Spooky. It also allows for a lot of creepy dream images, like those faces that chase you around... those faces.... Creepy.

Pokemon Snap 6/10 3
Pokemon have a lot of potential to be terrifying. Seriously, read a couple of Pokedex entries. Despite two cave levels, Pokemon Snap really squanders all the potential spookyness. The Haunters that only show up when you develop photos are a really nice touch though.

Otherwise, Pokemon Snap is fairly impressive. It's always surprising to me what a crapshoot N64 graphics can be. Despite being fun, Super Smash Bros. kind of looks like crap. Pokemon Snap on the other hand is absolutely beautiful, and as a game about taking pictures, that's obviously quite reliant on visuals, that's a very good thing. The game play is fun, but like we said in the episode, there's not very much of it. That said, it didn't really leave me wanting more either. It's an ok game, but hard to recommend today, due to its price point and the fact that it now has fewer than 10% of the total Pokemon.

Animal Crossing 6/10 2
Man that cat at the beginning is creepy. And that cat on the train WITH NO FACE. Ughhhh. That said, for the most part animal crossing is too cute to be creepy, which is the reason these things stand out. Maybe I'll pop it in to see if the game does anything special on Halloween.

The first Game Cube game we grabbed for the podcast, and probably the only one we'll play for some time. Animal Crossing is interesting. As a guy who plays Kingdom of Loathing every day, I understand what can be fun about a game that "refreshes" and encourages you to play every day. And I got into Animal Crossing. For a little while. The reward structure, simply put, wasn't pleasing to me. It was rare that I felt I really accomplished something, even something small, and the long term goals just seemed too far off. If you can find it for cheap, I do suggest giving it a try, but it's not something I'd suggest anyone I didn't know personally seek out.

Gunstar Heroes 5/10 1
Sadly, there's really nothing spooky about Gunstar Heroes, at least nothing that I can remember at all.

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link 5/10 3
Death Mountain sounds pretty spooky right? And you spend a lot of time fighting Skeletons and Headless people in the game. Spooky right? Well, unfortunately, the game play is just sort of rigid and unfun, and doesn't really give you time to experience any spookyness.

Super Dodge Ball 5/10 ☭
Super Dodge Ball is way to fun to really be spook at all, I mean it takes place in the 80s and... and is that Stalin? Ghost Stalin? Ghost Devil Stalin!???? Ahhhhhh!

Final Fantasy 5/10 2
Like a few of the other games on this list, the actual mechanics of Final Fantasy, and the fact that it's, wait for it, a fantasy game, offset any potential spookyness. That and the ability to take between 1-4 characters who can heal you and instantly destroy the undead.

Strider 5/10 ☭ 2.0
Strider takes place in a cyborg future run by some sort of vaguely Russian communist empire that has both a moon base and a flying battleship. It's scary if you're afraid of Communist empires, so if you've been transported here from the 80s, Happy Halloween.

Strider is sort of like Sonic, it's a very pretty platformer with a bit of a gimmick. Unlike Sonic, the design doesn't undermine the gimmick. Also unlike Sonic, they fail on a lot of basic feed back levels, and it's easy to get lost in a game. It just feels very loose, a lot looser than it actually is. If it was just a little more clear when you took damage and when you'd killed an enemy, this game would be great, but as is, it's mediocre.

Excitebike 4/10 1
Motorbikes aren't scary. Racing isn't scary. NES carts aren't scary. Nothing to see here.

Kirby's Adventure 4/10 3
Like Animal Crossing, Kirby's Adventure isn't spooky until suddenly is. I guess the sentient tree that serves as the first boss could be seen as kind of creepy, but the extra dimensional space terror that you suddenly have to fight at the end definitely is.

Doom 2 4/10 ctrl+v
I could just copy paste what I said about Doom here, but I'm lazy, so if you'd pretend I did, I'd really appreciate that.

Zombies Ate My Neighbors 4/10 6
Lots of games take horror elements and use them as fantasy monsters, lots of other media does too. But one technique that other media has used for a long time that is much rare in video games is parody, and one of the easiest things to parody is horror and spookyness. So many people go to monster movies to see the zippers that there's a genre of film that caters specifically to that, things like Evil Dead. Zombie Ate My Neighbors is that. Like Castlevainia it uses all sorts of classic elements, but it uses them for humor. It's not scary and it's not a great game, but it does try something that I'd like to see more of in modern games.

Harvest Moon 4/10 1
I just realized none of the Harvest Moon games I've played have a Halloween equivalent. That is simply unacceptable. If you have played a Harvest Moon game with a version of Halloween, tell me in the comments!

Sonic the Hedgehog 3/10 4
Eggman's theme song actually is sort of spooky. It's a good theme too, way stronger than anything Bowser ever had. Still, there's plenty of cool levels in Sonic, and none of them are Haunted Mansion themed, at least not in the first game. More wasted Spookyness potential.

The Legend of the Mystical Ninja 3/10 2
I never really got Japanese horror. I love The Ring, but other then that, it sort of falls flat on me. Add in the goffyness that Mystical Ninja likes to pepper into Japanese culture, and filter it through the quite mediocre localization, and there's not much spooky to be found here.

F-Zero 3/10 1
Races aren't spooky. The future isn't spooky. Potential spooky characters like Blood Falcon hadn't been introduced to the series yet. F-Zero fails on all spooky levels.

Act Raiser 3/10 2
Act Raiser is a game in which you play God. Not only that, but you play God using his remove control statue to battle monsters, you don't even have to battle them yourself. On the other hand, certain religions would find that to be heresy, so I suppose if you do that's sort of spooky?

Bases Loaded 3/10 1
Baseball isn't spooky, and despite making up teams, Bases Loaded doesn't even grave us with something like "The Killers" or "The Reapers" or even "The Ghouls."

Ogre Battle 2/10 4
Like Ogre Battle 64, Ogre Battle is more about Fantasy than spookyness. The one witch you can get does seem to be experimenting horribly on the populace, and you take a pretty big reputation hit for forgiving her, so that's something I guess. Not much though.

Comix Zone 2/10 3
Man remember the 90s? With like, Mutant everything and sewer creatures and all that? Comix Zone has a lot of that. Much like the 90s, it's a lot sillier than it is Spooky, but I suppose they're at least sort of trying.

Double Dragon II The Revenge 2/10 2
And going even further back, to the 80s, we have some gang violence. Gang violence is scary sure, but it's not s-p-o-o-k-y.

Double Dragon 2/10 2
Double Dragon continues to be worse than Double Dragon II in every way, but since you can't play it with a friend, I suppose that actually makes it a little spookier and things even out.

Ghosts and Goblins 2/10 -13
One of the hardest games of all time with all manner of Ghosts and.... Zombies and Ghouls and Goblins and Satans and The Devil standing in your way. Why isn't Ghosts and Goblins especially spooky? Well part of it is that it's running on NES hardware. It looks like a cartoon, and while that can be scary, it has to work a lot harder. You have to be invested in the characters, and here you're really not. That, and you die way to frequently. To make horror effective in a game, you have to make the player think he's about to die at all points in time, but never actually kill him. That makes him remember he's in a game, it makes him frustrated, instead of spooooooooked.

Phantasy Star 1/1 1
Seriously, Phantasy Star isn't even worth making a joke about how spooky it isn't.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Bonus Episode 3: Kirby's Adventure? I think?

Another bonus episode so soon? Yes! Due to timing problems, we didn't get to record a regular episode (mostly Tyler's fault) and we did this instead! Also, Tyler's lazy, so no show notes. While we're blaming Tyler for things, how about trolling on the Internet. That's one person's fault, I think.

Our hangover cure: take two downloads with a shot of videogames.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Episode 34: Future Ninjas Are Boring [Strider]

A lone ninja fighting through a dystopian neo-Russia against hordes of robotic minions and sweet airships sounds cool, right? Right?

Walk this way to our download!

(01:00) Symphonic bliss. Terraria party! Geremy’s in Silver-3 in LoL, because we need more Fantasy Football comparisons.

(02:30) Possibly the best intro song ever. Meteos doesn't look as anime as I thought he would.

(04:30) Scribblenauts is now heroic.

(08:00) Everyone has an evil clone.

(10:45) Rune Factory 4 has a rating of 97/100 on IGN after 44 ratings right now.

(14:15) We really need that Genesis game checklist Geremy keeps mentioning. Not a plug. That conveniently ties in with our talk about feedback in games, though.

(19:00) Upgrades... this game has them, I guess.

(20:30) You'll hear a lot of the sword noise. Also, the Genesis version looks so much better than the Master System.

(23:00)This game is a quarter sucker! It also has awesome concepts, though.

(28:30) The sequels look awesome. We talk about horror games for a bit. Relevant to that last link since Tyler always rants about it.

(32:00) Mutant League is awesome.

(33:15) We ran out of stuff to say about Strider, so we talk about the games/genres we would like to see more life injected into.

Next time on Last Time, it's Super Star Wars! Grab it on the VC if you want to play along!

The Force is strong with us. Find out just how strong at

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Episode 33: Click click click Instead of Pew pew pew [Pokemon Snap]

It's our first rail shooter, and it's not even a shooter. Join us on an adventure through a suspiciously multi-environed island as we take pictures of everyone's favorite collectible monsters. Solve puzzles, see wonders, and pester some Pokemon!

Our download is almost as elusive as Mew!

(01:00) Video Games Taco is a podcast about some stuff done by some ladies affiliated with some other podcast.

(03:00) Our recent gaming endeavors. Pokemon Pinball: Ruby and Sapphire is remarkably relevant. The Steam box is new, so we talk about it. ShinTen is apparently a damn long game.

(05:00) We (mostly Zach) ramble a bit about choices in games.

(12:00) XCOM is still awesome, as is Odin Sphere.

(13:30) Animal Crossing burnout happens quickly.

(17:00) Oh, snap! We discuss our first Pokexperiences. The card game is super broken.

(21:00) We talk about how the game is scored.

(25:00) This game used to let you print out the pictures you took. Apparently you can post them from the VC, too.

(26:30) Progression in this game happens by solving obvious, yet strangely satisfying, puzzles. Most of them result in evolution. The individual levels are pretty nicely designed and super replayable. Pikachu rides things.

(29:30) Bulbapedia is like crack for Pokefans.

(34:00) Gluing Pokemon together is a thing. There's one that's just a sword that becomes two swords. Geremy likes the way Slowbro gets in the game.

(38:00) Just the right length, apparently.

(41:00) How to improve this game: make it Pixelmon. Also, make it on the Wii U.

(44:00) There are some silly powered Pokemon.

(45:45) This is mentioned. Tangentially related to that.

Next time on Last Time, Strider!

Slash up our inboxes at

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Bonus Episode 2: Animal Crossing

This week we have a bit of a change of form with what I like to call "The LTOVG Guest Host-apalooza!" +Katie Smith and +Alex Tift are on the mics with the usual hosts for this episodes, and it's fairly raucous. This is a bonus episode, so the quality of the audio is less than normal; Geremy did what he could to salvage it.

Shake shake... A download fell out of that tree!

(00:40) An introduction to Katie! That other game she plays is this! Also, she's making an edutainment game of some awesomeness: Adventure Girls.

(05:40) Zach leads off our recent games list. Bolas! Alex plays some games? Odin Sphere! Odette is creepy...

(13:00) Educational games! A.D.A.M. is apparently a series. Oregon Trail is in your Interwebz. SimAnt is a pretty cool game. Zoombinis and pizza. Fantastic Contraption and its sequel allow you to create a ton of different machines to solve problems.

(25:00) ActRaiser was mentioned. Just sayin'.

(26:30) Animal Crossing! You may have questionable origins. Kirin is god... thing. It's mentioned in this show.

(35:00) How you make money in these games.

(39:30) Tarantulas. Seriously?

(43:45) Fuzzy Pickles!

(49:30) Tyler's totally wrong. Maybe Morrowind?

(51:30) Humans are gluttons and will play all the games if possible.

(54:30) Rover!

Next time on Last Time, Pokemon Snap!

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Tyler@lasttimeonvideogames.com,
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You can also go to the show page at gplus.to/LastTimeOnVideogames or comment on the site at www.lasttimeonvideogames.com.
Also, you can follow our tweets @LTOVG.

Monday, September 30, 2013

Mutants playing football?

Ok so in the before times when the retro games this podcast plays were just games I owned a Sega Genesis. Well actually I still have the thing. But I digress. On this console were a pair of games that were outlandish and due to that were just plain fun. These games have alas been neglected up until this point. These games were Mutant League Hockey and Mutant League Football. I actually owned the hockey game and I had bunches of fun playing against my brother. We tended to split games; I'd win on points scored but he'd kill all my guys. Again why exactly am I mentioning this? Well the guy who made the originals on that venerable genesis is trying to remake the game now that the trademark has been something or other. I'm not a legal person. If you want in on a football game that doesn't take itself in any way seriously that includes field hazards such as holes in the field or landmines they've started a Kickstarter at http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mendheim/mutant-football-league?ref=live. Help them get it going and perhaps we can see a game fill the niche of over the top sports games again.

Friday, September 27, 2013

The Ratings: September

Sequel to sequel month is over, like sequel month before it. It'll probably be a while before we do another theme month, and after Animal Crossing we'll get back to business as usual, which probably means games I'm excited to play but don't actually like. However, while I'm still in a good mood from all the great games we've played recently, lets take a look at how they stack up!

Super Smash Bros. 10/10
Super Smash Bros. isn't a perfect game, but it has a lot going for it. Simple game play with a lot of depth if you want to delve in, interesting and new (for the time) mechanics. Not to mention a bunch of characters that most people are pre disposed to liking, and multiplayer you can play for days. It's honestly a little bit hard to imagine a virtual console game better than Super Smash Bros. I'm sure there's one somewhere on it, but its the swan song of the Nintendo 64, the most advanced console on the VC.

Mega Man X 9/10
Mega Man X is the game that I expected to throne Castlevainia before we played Smash Bros. I've talked a lot about it, both on that episode and many previous, so I don't know how much more I can say here. The graphics still look good today, the platforming is just as tight as previous Mega Man games, the weapons are all unique and interesting, even if it's usually easier to just use the buster, the bosses are all imaginative and cool, and wall jumping is awesome. Go play it.

Castlevainia Symphony of the Night 9/10
Choosing between Symphone of the Night and Super Metroid was really hard for me. They're both great games. Super Metroid is a little more pure, with a minamalist story, better pacing, and a very strong theme that it never breaks. Symphony of the Night just has more. More isn't always better, I think the terrible voice acting actually hurts the story they're trying to tell quite a bit, and the RPG elements some times make the game feel less focused. But at the end of the day, which is more fun? Leveling up in SotN is awesome. Finding new sweet swords when you kill Skeletons is awesome. Street Fighter spells and Pokemon are awesome. They're very similar games, but SotN takes everything from Super Metroid and adds to it. Sure, they don't quite do the things Super Metorid did quite as well, but there's so much new stuff that it's a marvel it works at all, and I have to give it the edge.

Super Metroid 9/10
Super Metroid is still a fantastic game though. It takes everything Metroid did and improves it, stream lining the obscure bits and adding things like a map to smooth out all the bumps that game had. Then it adds in all sorts of cool new mechanics, like the grappling beam and wall jumping. The game has dark graphics with a sort of washed color pallet, but that really works for it, and it manages to feel like a slow, solitary decent into hell. Plus you have laser gun that you can charge up to shoot your enemies with! Super Metroid is a fantastic game, and if you aren't frustrated by a somewhat slow pace, I give it a hearty recommendation.

Castlevania 9/10
Oh how the mighty have fallen. The NES was a great machine, and some great, simple games were on it, but the more games from newer consoles we play, the more even the best of the NES library looks a bit old and busted. That's not to say Castlevania is a bad game, it's super well designed, and quite the challenge with good themeing. If my previous praise of the game hasn't gotten you to play it, I can't imagine this will, but just in case, play it!

Mega Man 2 8/10
Mega Man is a great game. Mega Man 2 doesn't innovate very much on the original, but its longer and has some what more interesting powers, so it just barely gets the edge on the original.

Mega Man 8/10
The original is still pretty good though, iconic design and tight platforming, with a variety of different challenges, both are good, and if you like Mega Man 2, going back for the first one is probably a good idea.

The Legend of Zelda 8/10
Zelda marks the point in the scores where I stop thinking the games are universally great, and more just that the good outweighs the bad. Since Zelda is at the top of that point, I think it has the most good, and its clearly had more influence on modern games than almost any other NES game. It does a somewhat poor job of guiding you, but like Super Metroid, I think the slow pace adds a little bit to the fun.

Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars 8/10
Super Mario RPG also has a lot of good, its simple and fun, and does a good job blending the Mario iconography into an RPG. However, the pacing is sort of all over the place, at some points you're getting one of the titular seven stars one after another, at other times progress slows almost completely, and there's a frustrating difficulty spike at the end. Still, it's a pretty good game.

Gradius 7/10
Gradius is difficult arcade action at its finest, with cool power ups, interesting decisions and a whole lot of challenge. A little less challenge probably would have gotten it a higher rating in my eyes, but if that sounds like your thing give Gradius a look.

Ogre Battle 64: Person of Lordly Caliber 7/10
Ogre Battle 64 is the first game we've played that I enjoyed in my childhood, but that doesn't quite hold up. It's still a pretty good game, and I played through it just 3 years ago when it first hit the virtual console, but playing it again the cracks in it really show. The story is slow paced, and while not exactly cliche I've certainly seen everything going on there before. The characters aren't very fleshed out either, for the N64 they've got surprising detail, they all have at least one personality trait, but it just doesn't measure up story wise today. And while it's a different sort of tactical game play, games like X-Com and Fire Emblem are just more fun. If Zach's gushing in our episode won you over check it out, if you want a ridiculous amount of game for 10 dollars check it out, but otherwise, skip it.

Castlevainia II: Simon's Quest 7/10
I'm still surprised that I rate Simon's Quest so high, but the game gets a bad rap. It's bad at telling you where you need to go, and many of the obstacles are annoying to overcome rather than entertaining, but the majority of it is whipping demons werewolves and zombies, which is always fun. Anyone who has any interest in game design should play it to completion, see what works about it, what doesn't, and come to their own conclusions.

Doom 7/10
Doom, one of the First First Person Shooters, gets almost everything right about the genre. It's fast and drops you right into the game, the weapons are unique and useful, the enemies clearly need to die, and most of all its fun. The graphics aren't great, and the levels are maze like enough that its easy to get lost, but its still a fun little title.

Metroid 7/10
Metroid isn't nearly the game Super Metroid is, it's more confusing, the graphics don't do a good job of cluing you on where to go, and the Boss Fights aren't satisfying. It's still a good game, with a lot of depth for an NES title, but pay the two extra bucks and play Super Metroid instead.

Super Mario Bros. The Lost Levels 6/10
Another very hard game, Super Mario Bros. The Lost Levels is still satisfying, do to incredibly tight controls and good level design. So why isn't it as high up as Gradius or Castlevainia? Well... simply put Mario isn't quite as engaging. There's really only one verb, jump, and while its still fun, its not quite as satisfying as those other games. Still, if you like Mario but think it's usually too easy, this is a game for you.

Super Mario Bros. 6/10
A classic. Super Mario Bros. is perhaps the most important game of the entire 1980s and anyone with an interest in videogames should play it to completion. Is it perfect? Far from it, but its still good to this day.

Super Mario Bros. 2 6/10
The black sheep of the Mario NES games is probably my least favorite. It's still fairly solid though, with nice graphics and each character having unique powers adds a lot to the game. If you're a big Mario or platformer fan it might be worth a look, but here's the point where games become difficult to recommend for one reason or another.

Gunstar Heroes 6/10
Gunstar Heroes is very pretty, and like most Genesis games looks like a vibrant arcade experience a console would have trouble producing. The game play is fun too, but really its about all the colors and explosions, which makes it easy to loose track of what you're doing. It's not a half bad co-op experience, but it's not a game I can strongly recommend either.

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link 5/10
The Adventure of Link is a huge departure from the previous game, and talking simply, it's too hard. The challenge is overwhelming, and failure makes you start over at the beginning, which means you just spend time getting to the spot you're stuck at over and over again. The biggest Zelda fan boys might want to give it a try, but as a Zelda fan boy myself I say skip it.

Super Dodge Ball 5/10
Super Dodge Ball is hard to talk about, because its fun and quirky but very short. If you're interested in old NES games it's worth a look. If you like quirky humerous video games, it's worth a look. If you're looking for depth, skip it.

Final Fantasy 5/10
I really want to give Final Fantasy another try some time, but I don't think I'm ever going to. The game simply processes too slowly, the gap between making your choices and seeing the outcome is too long for the game to be fun. It's easy to see why with improvements, they were able to make another dozen of the things, but the original needed a little more love.

Excitebike 5/10
Excitebike is a simple little game that's surprisingly fun, you race a dirt bike, you go off jumps, and you try not to crash. Simple but fun. Unfortunately five dollars seems a little steep for what seems like a flash or phone game.

Kirby's Adventure 4/10
Speaking of simple, Kirby's Adventure really feels like baby's first platformer. It's colorful and it has a lot of cool power ups, but it's so easy it becomes boring quickly, despite all that color. I recommend you skip it.

Doom 2 4/10
Doom 2 takes all the good of Doom, adds a few new weapons, and keeps all the frustration. It honestly feels more like an expansion pack than a sequel. If you finish Doom and can't wait for more, pick up Doom 2, but I was quite satisfied with what the first one offered.

Zombies Ate My Neighbors 4/10
Zombies Ate my Neighbors is another simple little game that feels like it should be a phone game... only with a whole lot of progress blocking. While the theme is good, it feels way too simple for the Super Nintendo, and I have to say pass on it.

Harvest Moon 4/10
Harvest Moon suffers from this weird problem that plagues few other games. It's only fun for about a third of the length of the game. That third is still long enough to justify the price of the game... but when that clashes with the desire to complete a game, it just becomes frustrating. It's not a bad game, it just overstays its welcome. And has a dozen sequels that have improved on the formula, I recommend you take your pick of those instead.

Sonic the Hedgehog 3/10
I'm surprised that I still have Sonic so low on the totem pole with all the bad games we've played, since Sonic isn't strictly speaking bad. It's just really frustrating, the mechanics and visuals are all centered around speed, something the game punishes you for. Metroid, a game about isolation, does more to encourage speed. And that's terrible.

The Legend of the Mystical Ninja 3/10
Like Sonic, I feel Mystical Ninja probably deserves more than a 3. It's not a bad game, it just didn't offer anything special, other than some Japanese humor, though I don't think a video game is the best medium for that. The co-op makes the game fun, but there are definitely better games out there.

F-Zero 3/10
The last of the games that just isn't flat out bad, F-Zero is a racing game, not all that different than racing games today, other than having HP and lives. I don't know that that really adds anything to the game, and I don't really think I recommend it, but it's not offensive.

Act Raiser 3/10
Act Raiser is a worthy experiment, and it has a lot of potential. I'd actually love to see a sequel to the game, although Act Raiser 2 isn't on the virtual console, and I've heard it's not very good. If you like genre mixing, it's an interesting example, but the platforming that makes up most of the game isn't very fun, so don't go in expecting much.

Bases Loaded 3/10
Bases Loaded is an impressive Base Ball simulation for the NES. It's also not much fun, since hitting the ball is almost as difficult as in real life, but with none of the physical feed back. Unless you're a sports video game nut, I suggest you skip it.

Ogre Battle 2/10
Ogre Battle is kind of terrible. There are some good ideas there, but most of them were retained for Ogre Battle 64, which fixes all the major issues. Play that instead.

Comix Zone 2/10
Comix Zone is visually striking, but short, artificially difficult, and uses cheap game play techniques. Just skip it.

Double Dragon II The Revenge 2/10
Double Dragon II is ok, the "story" is pretty "great", and it has co-op which always makes a game more fun. The controls are incredibly shaky however, which sort of ruins the whole thing.

Double Dragon 2/10
Double Dragon has all the problems of its sequel, but ear piercing terrible music and no co-op. Double skip it.

Ghosts and Goblins 2/10
Ghosts and Goblins is a hard game, but not in a fun way like Lost Levels or Castlevainia, where you always know you're at fault for your mistakes. Instead, the difficulty feels nearly random at times, and unless you feel you have something to prove skip it.

Phantasy Star 1/1
I can at least understand the person who tortures themself with Ghosts n' Goblins. Phantasy Star is terrible on so many levels... just play any other RPG instead.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Episode 32: Apparently the Chozo were Flightless [Super Metroid]

This week, we return to Zebes, and take on Metroid II: The Return of... wait, no we skip that game, and play Super Metroid instead! How does Tyler's favorite child hood video game stack up? Listen and find out!

Is that a download behind that bombable wall?

(00:40) We get side tracked right away and talk about some movies.

(2:00) What we've been playing! Zach's still playing Shin Ten, with leads us to game length and content vs grinding.

(4:40) Geremy is playing Cloudberry Kingdom in addition to his normal games.

(9:30) Also Fire Emblem Awakening, Zach and Geremy discuss the characters and their outlandishness.

(18:00) Super Metroid!

(19:30) The beginning, feelings of isolation. Can atmosphere of a game make you feel things?

(23:00) New powerups and features.

(24:50) Color pallets and different areas.

(28:00) Game play! It's like Metroid. Go figure.

(30:00) Sequence breaking.

(32:00) Is it ok for a game to make you look around and try to find its content? Or is it on the game to present itself to you immediately. Obviously a game needs to do something to grab your attention, but does Super Metroid do enough?

(35:00) Exploration in video games, 2d vs 3d.

(37:15) Games with mechanics that help you find hidden items. Are they good, or do they defy the point of having hidden items in the first place? Are you entitled to all the secret items/achievements in a game without work? Achievement Hunter would say so.

(41:20) Compared to Symphony of the Night. Videogames stopping and slowing your progress, is it a problem?

(47:45) The pacing of video games. Are modern games faster paced than older ones? Is this a bad thing? Also, the Pomodoro Technique.

(51:00) Final thoughts, and some giggling about Metroid Prime.

Next week, we jump a little further into the gaming present than normal for this podcast, and play Animal Crossing. If you're interested, New Leaf is available on the 3DS, but as its a full cost game, you may wish to skip this one and just listen in!

Contact information? No need to search for that, it's right here!

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Broken Controllers: Diablo 3

    So a while back a game released on the PC and it was, not universally panned, but constantly compared to the game that came before a game that was one of the best games released in the nineties for the PC. My inner Blizzard fanboy might be peeking out on that but whatever. I'm talking of course about the Diablo games recently the third installment of this series made its way to the console and I had the opportunity to try it out. Follow the jump to defeat the great evil.
    Well Diablo 3 follows its forebear of being a hack and slash dungeon crawler. The whole point of the game of course is to find all the demons and complete the story but to do so you have to navigate all kinds of randomly laid out dungeons where the boss isn't where you might have left him on your first playthrough. During this you unlock sills and find new and interesting gear to equip your chosen hero with. 3 has five classes, Barbarian, which takes the fighter slot as a big hulking damage taker and dealer, Monk, the other frontline class which does damage . . .and that was about as much as I could see. The Demon hunter which is a ranged bow user and I think its supposed to be a heavy damage dealer but I didn't see any of that on my use of it. Finally two mage classes, the voodoo priest and the sorcerer round out the classes. The choice of class determines the narrative that your character brings to the story but does nothing to alter the story because Blizzard wanted to deliver a very specific one to the player.

    The story begins as a meteor has fallen on a town and now the dead are rising all around the site. Your character has shown up because of whatever reason they have to investigate. From the very start upon your arrival in the town your character is pulled into a battle against the forces of hell and the attempt to save the entire human race from extinction. Not really a shock to anyone who has played a Diablo game before.

    Now that my overview is complete lets talk a bit about the game and the things that I felt might need work. From the start since it is a hack and slash game there is some repeating gameplay and I felt while the graphics were good it sometimes felt as though they just didn't have enough variety early on in the monsters and that never really felt like it changed. Compared to Diablo 2 which also had a lot of reskinned and not different monsters it made that work by interspersing different monster types within the same groups as others. So while in Diablo 3 you are always fighting the same three or four zombies in 2 you would be fighting zombies with fallen with quillbeasts and spiders in the same room. Does that make the game bad? No not really but it felt like a wasted opportunity especially within the dungeons. I understand that the first boss is the Skeleton King but come on guys! The combat is all about hitting a routine by finding the combination of available skills work best but since you don't start off with all of your skill types unlocked and they remain locked off until a predetermined point it might be more accurate to say its about getting through until you have these options opened up. Now Diablo 2 had an approach like that but since you were limited in options to the two mouse buttons and with a skill tree it felt like you had more control over your character than there is in 3. Consider this; in Diablo three there are about 15 active skills per character along with several passive skills. In 2 there were about that many skills PER tree and each character had three trees that they could use. It gave the player the control to play a summoner druid or a shapeshifting druid while three feels really limited. Character choice aside the story is something that I have in my crosshairs so lets make the jump.

    Diablo 3 starts off so promising with the fully animated cinematics to start things off and the narration from your chosen character class but later in the game it feels like it loses steam. While this might be just a feeling that I had it felt that I spent the vast majority of the game in the first act while the other three just began a downhill run that ended with them becoming shorter and shorter. It felt rushed like the whole game was supposed to have these kinds of long arcs because again I'm going back to 2 here each of the acts in that game had a more structured six quests that once complete, the final one was always kill the demon lord, you were finished with the act and moved on. My point is each level felt like an entire experience in hunting each one of these evils down and killing them off while Three feels like it is leading up to just one climax which in my opinion was a let down.

    Spoilers!
    Now here I'm going to talk about some of the moments that drove me nuts. First there is really only one moment that felt like the kind of great evil boss I'm supposed to be taking on. That giant thing in the Diablo Three commercial? Second act boss. The other bosses in the game while they are very Diablo 2 felt off. The Skeleton king didn't but that was because I hadn't fought the other one yet. My point is that if you are going to make a multi-phase boss make it the last one. Comparatively the killing of Diablo is kind of pathetic. I remember when I first killed him in Diablo 2 it was an epic marathon of just watching the health bar slowly creeping down and weathering the deaths of my character to go at him again. This one I beat him handily on my first try and was left unsatisfied. "Really?" I asked, "that's it?" This is the problem that stems from a lot. Here is Diablo a character that is supposed to be the baddest ass of them all and he is dropped easily by a human despite handily crushing an Archangel. I understand that I'm the hero of the story but why not make me freaking earn that win?

    Is Diablo three a bad game? No I wouldn't go that far but it is fairly mediocre when compared to many other available games out right now. It gave me the same kind of feeling I had when sitting with a few friends and chilling with Baldur's Gate or Gautlet Legends. Fun for a while and with people to kill some time working together but it won't light the world on fire. Compared to Blizzard's other recent release it falls flat. It's a pretty game when it isn't darker than hell with the lights off but other than my listed issues it's functional and if you need a time-killer there are worse options. I don't know if it is multiplayer on console, by which I mean a bunch of buddies on a couch because I never got a chance to test that out so take that for what its worth.

    I'm going to start putting what I think the game would be worth to purchase based on what I personally had fun with. Take it for what its worth, which means not much in my case.
    Final rating 20$ out of 60$

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Episode 31: Menu Battle 64 [Ogre Battle 64]

Team, assemble! You hit him with that thing you always do, and I'll flip a coin to determine which spell to cast! Afterwards, we can walk through town and, if they think exactly like us, we'll free them!

This week, it's Ogre Battle 64, the game of tactics and valor on the battlefield. Join us as we find out just how many soldiers it takes to get to the center of a fighter!

Is your alignment right to Liberate or Capture our download?

(00:55) Games and us. Specifically, ones with which we've interacted lately. DoA is a game about... fighting. Seriously, though, it's got a pretty decent story and gameplay. The 3D fighter with combat damage we mentioned was apparently Tao Feng: Fist of the Lotus. If you're in the market for used... anything, 2nd and Charles is pretty awesome. Black & Read in Arvada is a superb books and music store.

(05:30) Anima looks so amazing, it's almost sad that we'll likely never play it.. No, Jean, don't do it!

(08:00) Pokemon Pinball! Tyler's current high scores... there may be a preference there. Nintendo had humble, and quite different, roots. high scores, All the wizard modes. It allows you to play a mean game. Alex's parents own a Xenon table. Read the Notes section. My hobby: replacing hyphens.

(13:00) The mysterious overlap between RPGs and tactical games.

(14:30) OGRES!

(16:45) Tome of Innaccuracy.

(22:00) This game has loooong battles.

(24:00) Pedras hurt them if they hurt you.

(28:30) This game is deep, man.

(31:45) Decision making.

(34:00) The reward pacing of this game is a little odd.

(37:00) This game is somewhat about minmaxing. Also, it has a story? History lesson!

(43:00) A brief commentary on whether a game that is narrative-centric should just be a movie.

(44:30) Some discussion about the necessity for rational humans to justify realistic violence within the game's story. It's a meaty topic that we don't nearly cover. Also, for some reason it seems easier to do this in a tabletop RPG than in a videogame.

(47:40) Spec Ops: The Line deals with the aforementioned subject through our favorite medium!

(50:40) Apparently not feeling weighty enough this episode, we dip into a discussion about videogames as an art form. I would ammend our discussion here that videogames may already be art, but be truly transcendent were they to meet the criteria we outline here.

(51:30) Final thoughts about Ogre Battle 64: It's pretty good!

Next week, Super Metroid! Get read to explore and shoot things (not necessarily in that order).

Morph ball on over to us at

Monday, September 16, 2013

Last Rant on Videogames: Heroes and Hostages

I've been talking a bit lately about returning to a game of my youth. Way back when, the other hosts and I went to a cyber cafe and played long hours of Counter-Strike and Day of Defeat, shouting at each other across the room and generally having a grand ol' time. Given that we were the only ones there most days, I don't find it hard to believe that they went out of business, but it was one of my first encounters with the now bloated genre that is FPS games.
In preparing for this article, and to back up some wild claims I planned on making, I stumbled across this list, which is fairly complete, and highly informative. That said, Counter-Strike doesn't even make an appearance. Given that this was one of the most defining entries to the genre for me, I am a little surprised. I suppose it might fall under the tactical FPS genre, but I feel they're all fairly similar.

At any rate, I feel that, while it's definitely not the first, it might have been one of the most defining games for what we see in modern shooters today. I've played my share of Call of Duty, and have never found it terribly engaging. Yes, I'll play indefinitely, but that's only because I have some primal craving for competition. Really, though, I've felt these games somewhat lacking. I always feel sluggish, have a far harder time aiming than it seems I ought, and randomly get caught on obstacles outside my peripheral vision.

Counter-Strike, by contrast, feels clean and fast. Maybe it's just that I have a far easier time with computer controls, but there's a certain amount of frenetic energy in every match that I just don't get in a Slayer round, even though there's arguably more happening there. Zach pointed out that it's probably because of the size of the maps, and I would further add the effectiveness of almost every weapon over the range of the map. I think it would be folly to claim that the weapons behave realistically, but you can drop a guy from a fair distance away with a shotgun if you're persistent, which is a feat you should be able to accomplish if you were actually attempting it in our version of reality.

Let's break it down a bit. The weapons come in multiple flavors, and are grouped for you. I'll explain the mechanics of acquiring them in a moment.

Pistols are low in damage and fairly high in firing rate and accuracy. They're side arms, and are used as such. You won't generally have much use for them unless you need to reload in the middle of a fire fight, but having a good one can save your hide on occasion.

Shotguns are shotguns. Have you played an FPS? Then you're educated.

Submachine guns are good in this game at what they're supposed to be good at in real life. They're the every-man's weapon. They're great at mid to close range and allow you to spray bullets indiscriminately while more specifically armed teammates do the rest. There's rarely a bad situation for one, unless the other guy's got a sniper rifle and you haven't noticed him.

Rifles come in two flavors, but are lumped under the same category. Similar to SMGs, there are assault rifles. You can think of them as the big brothers of most SMGs. They've got a bit better accuracy at a distance, and some let you zoom your sight a bit.

Snipers, on the other hand, do massive damage from a range with insane accuracy. Additionally, all guns fire in the exact center of your screen within an error tolerance, so it's quite possible to noscope everyone if you're good enough.

Finally, there's a machine gun. Just one. It never runs out of ammo.

There are also some grenades, of the flash, smoke, and HE varieties. Buying some armor will often save you. Really, I didn't need to tell you any of this, though. IF you've ever played an FPS, you know this.

Counter-Strike, then differs in that every action may affect your bank account in some manner. By default, you have a limit of $16000, but you'll be hard pressed to get there very often. Killing guys gets you more money, as does completing some of the map objectives. By default, you start with a small amount and participate in what is known as the "pistol round." Because you have so little money, the only thing you may buy is a new pistol, and everyone tries to kill each other with them. It can be one of the more amusing moments in the game, but since the winning team of each round is awarded bonus cash, it can really decide the opening momentum of the game. The weapons between the opposing sides, Terrorists and Counter Terrorists, don't differ much, but I feel that the Terrorists have a better pistol available.

When you get enough cash, you can start buying your preferred loadout for the map. Some people love their shotguns, while others hang back with rifles and let others do the dirty work. It partially depends on which team you're on and the map style.

In the standard Source game, there are only two game types, but near infinite maps if you're willing to look. My preferred game type is CS, in which the terrorists must prevent the counter terrorists from escorting some number of hostages to escape zones. I feel there's a bit more strategy involved in this game type, and can lead to some interesting experiences.

The other game type involves the terrorists attempting to plant a time bomb and make sure it detonates before the counter team defuses it. You can totally be killed by the bomb. Watch out for that.

Really, though, it comes down to really fast matches and a lot of action. The downside is that each round is permadeath, so if you suck, you can expect to spend a lot of time not playing. That said, the online scene is fierce. The game's been around since '99, and most people who are playing it have been for a long time. It took me a bit to ramp up to a point where I could feasibly participate, but thanks to copious TF2 and a non-trivial amount of time playing against the remarkably decent bot AI before venturing online, it wasn't too bad.

By the way, this game has bots, and they're pretty good. If you're like me and have some irrational phobia of playing online, you can do that pretty much forever.

It's usually $5-10 on Steam, and not super graphically intense. If you've got a decent computer, you can prolly run this without much trouble, and it satisfies and itch I didn't know I was trying to scratch.

That said, if you prefer more specialization in your actions, I might recommend just picking up TF2 instead. It's pretty awesome, and free.

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