The Ratings: July

First off, I'd like to apologize for not posting lately.  Since listing the Mario games, I went into a bit of a Mario coma.  I had a lot of thoughts on things I wanted to write, but I burned myself out on the franchise and none of that ever materialized, and I havn't had much inspiration to write much else either.  Still, I've got to restart with something, and hopefully a Ratings column will be what I need to start writing weekly again.

Super Smash Bros. 10/10
Well, it had to happen eventually.  Castlevainia is amazing, I hadn't played it until we undertook this project, and it quickly became my favorite NES game.  It's still my favorite game I found doing this Podcast, even though we havn't recorded an episode on it yet!  But it couldn't stay on top forever.  I actually thought I knew what was going to knock it off, but then Zach suggested Smash Bros. as an assignment.  Super Smash Bros. is an incredible game.  It's hours of fun with your friends, reimagining  all your favorite Nintendo characters in a much more violent context.  It is the first game we've played that feels like a "modern" game to me.  It's the first game I ever bought the day it came out.  As we said in that episode, Melee is a sequel that both greatly improved the game play and nearly doubled the content, so in a way it's obsolete.  But it's still an incredible game.

Castlevania 9/10
Which is to take nothing away from Castlevainia.  It's a masterpiece of a platformer, the combat is fun, and the challenge is extreme, but always fair.  You always know you're the one who messed up when you die, and can't help but give it another go.  With Mega Man confirmed for the next Smash Bros. game, Simon Belmont may be my most wanted new challenger, and I'm eager for the day we finally assign Castlevainia III and IV.

Mega Man 9/10
Mega Man is similar to Castlevainia, hared but fair with a good combat aspect.  There's a bit more of a platforming focus, and the theme isn't as tight, and it's got a lot more bugs.  That said it's a bit easier, so if you're the sort of person who tears their hair out at hard games, it might be more for you.

The Legend of Zelda 9/10
Zelda is more of an adventure game.  Tyler has ranted about that title in the past, as it gets applied to damn near everything, but you really feel like you're on an adventure.  The challenge, rather than an extreme platforming segment, is figuring out where to go and finding secrets.  It's not quite as satisfying to me as the raw challenge of Mega Man or Castlevainia, or the chaotic multiplayer of Smash Bros. but it's different and still engaging.

Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars 8/10
I tried to finish Mario RPG.  As I've said before, the pacing of the game is extremely awkward.  I got to a nice little parody of the Power Rangers that occurs right before the final castle.  Unfortunately, you fight them right after another boss with two forms, with no saves in between.  Plus, for the first time in the game, grinding a bit before taking them on seemed like a wise option.  I might go back to the game, but I feel that loss of 30 minutes or so of progress killed it for me.  It didn't ruin my fun with the game, it's still one of the highest rated games we've played, but I think it revealed my major problem with the game.  It's in consistent.  The pacing, the difficulty, they're all over the place, and the graphics suck.  None of those things make the game unfun, but they're all little spots on it that keep it away from a perfect score.

Doom 8/10
I'm really not sure what to say about Doom.  I enjoyed it more than I thought I would, played a little more than half of it, felt satisfied and quit while I was ahead.  I'm quite surprised that it's still ranked so high, which is a testament to how many mediocre games we've played.

Gradius 8/10
Gradius is very similar to Castlevainia.  A hard game that makes you want to retry, because every death is your fault in some way.  So why isn't it ranked as high?  A couple reasons.  First, in Castlevainia, powerups are cool and useful, but you only need 2 to be effective.  In Gradius you need about 10, so when you die and loose them, you might as well restart the game.  Second, Castlevainia has a much more forgiving retry cost.  You start from the last boss you beat on a game over.  In Gradius, you start from the beginning.  Third, the theme of Castlevainia, with all it's horror monsters, is a lot stronger than the generic space shooter of Gradius.

Metroid 7/10
And speaking of space, here we have Metroid.  A game that blurs the line  between something straightforward like Casltevainia, and something more exploration based like a Zelda.  That said, the challenge isn't quite there, and the things that block your way feel a bit more obtuse than Zelda.  It's still a great game, and you can see the Metroidvainia genre in it right from the start, but they were a few ideas short of the genius they'd eventually reach.

Super Mario Bros. 7/10
And here we are again.  Super Mario Bros.  My base line of gaming.  Still at a 7.   I don't know how to feel about this.  I guess it's impressive how good tight controls and decent level design can make a pretty good game.  Or perhaps it's worth noting that even back in the day, most games were crap.  Or maybe 7s are only common in the gaming industry because a game worth paying attention too is going to rate one simply because of all the utter crap that's around.  Anyway, Super Mario Bros.  I can't imagine you havn't played it.  If you havn't, do.

Gunstar Heroes 7/10
Gunstar Heroes didn't really impress me.  I think it was just a little bit overhyped for me.  That said, I've moved it up in the rankings a bit, as I noticed a theme in the games below it.  Most of them would be great, save for one fatal flaw.  There's nothing really wrong with Gunstar, and it is fun, so up it goes.

Final Fantasy 6/10
Here's where we start getting depressing.  Most of the next few games are good, but have some crippling flaw that makes them frustrating of hard to recommend.  For Final Fantasy, it's the pace of the game.  Combat is just so slow.  I've almost gone back to it a couple times, but without some sort of fast forward, I just can't do it.  I barely scratched the surface in that game either.  I did have fun with it, but I almost think it's only so high on the list because I've imagined 80% of the game, and that 80% is great in my head.


Super Dodge Ball 6/10
And next up, Super Dodge Ball.  It's hard to condense my thoughts on this game, so maybe just listen to the episode?  The premise is crazy, in a great way.  The visuals are great, in a way that really adds to the game, making it crazy and energetic.  The game play is fun but... hard to sustain.  It's fun for about the length of the campaign, which is short, and it's a game that looses something in multiplayer.  As I've said before, watch some Youtube videos and if it looks like your thing, it probably is.

Excitebike 6/10
Excitebike is a little bit zen for me.  It's simple, and yet engaging.  I play it like a phone game, usually just to keep my hands busy while I listen to a podcast or the like.  There's not much there, especially by modern standards, but it's fun for a few minutes at a time.

Kirby’s Adventure 6/10
Kirby's Adventure is a platformer, like some of the ones at the top of the list, with incredible sound and graphics for its time and a huge number of fun interesting power ups.  But it's so easy.  It's hard to care about enemies, because you have 6 hit points.  It's hard to care about dying because you have so many lives, and check points are frequent.  Levels are short, so you can always get through.  It doesn't take long for everything to start just glossing over and to start going through the motions.  In other words, it's not fun.

Zombies Ate My Neighbors 5/10
Again, Zombies Ate My Neighbors, while a simple game, is one I have complex thoughts about.  I suggest you check the episode.  It has a strong theme, a quirky humor to it, and some interesting trade offs in game play.  But it just feels... like it's older than it is.  They style is too arcadey, it lacks a save system, and a game over costs you a lot of progress.  It's fun to a certain degree, but hard to invest in, and the lack of check points requires you play it a while.

Harvest Moon 5/10
I don't know how much more I can say about Harvest Moon.  It's coming to the WiiU Virtual Console soon.  Yay?

Sonic the Hedgehog 5/10
Sonic is also a game I feel I've beaten into the ground.  It's a decent platformer, but nothing special.  The thing that makes it stand out is Sonic's acceleration and speed.  Things the game punishes you for using.

F-Zero 4/10
F-Zero is a game I feel I didn't give a fair shake.  There was nothing really wrong with it.  There just wasn't anything that stood out.  I think the graphical style was the main draw when it came out, and while it still looks good today, it's really nothing special.  I'd say skip it if you don't have a specific reason to take a look.

Act Raiser 4/10
Act Raiser's fatal flaw is poor controls, which in a platformer is a hell of a sin.  Everything just feels... loose and like you're loosing control.  Through in poor boss design, and despite the great premise the entire thing just feels... unfinished.

The Legend of the Mystical Ninja 4/10
The Legend of the Mystical Ninja's only real sin is that it's not terribly original.  Sure, the theme is more or less unique, especially for the time, but it didn't do anything game play wise that hadn't been done.  I guess it's real sin is that it didn't impress me much.

Bases Loaded 3/10
And now we move on from games that commit some sin but were otherwise interesting to games that are just bad.  Bases Loaded is on the boarder line in that regard.  The systems are real complex for an NES game, and they feel like they should add up to an interesting, fun experience.  It's just a little too hard to parse what's going on, and thus it falls short.

Ogre Battle 3/10
And speaking of too difficult to parse, Ogre Battle's interface is one giant wall.  Add on endlessly respawning enemies, and you have a disaster.  Ogre Battle 64 fixes this simply by keeping the enemies finite, and that's a great game.  Unfortunately, the series didn't start off that way.

Comix Zone 3/10
Oh boy Comix Zone.  Great premise... and that's all it's got going for it.  Boring combat, poor controls, few levels, and health drain in place of puzzles.  Man is this game hard, unfun, and not worth playing.



Double Dragon II The Revenge 2/10
Double Dragon II takes a terrible game and slaps on 2 player co-op.  This helps it out a lot, but it's still a terrible game.

Double Dragon 2/10
See above.  Remove co-op.  Add a few terribles in.

Ghosts ‘n Goblins 2/10
This game's difficulty is legendary, and while that might appeal to some, I havn't gone back and played it sense, and Castlevainia was at the top of this list for a long long time because of its difficulty.

Phantasy Star 1/1
And still at the bottom, Phantasy Star.  Moon logic puzzles, mediocre turn based combat, and designers that expect you to grind continuously all add up to a terrible terrible game.  Lots of those lately.. maybe we can do something about that next month!