The Ratings: June

It's that time again!  The more I do these columns, the more I understand why reviewers give everything a 7.  The more games you play, the more the mundane ones all sort of blur together.  Rather than give everything a 7 though, my instinct is to give stuff a rating between the 3-4 range.  Whether this is because I have higher standards or just want to defy the trope I'm not sure.  Regardless, hit the jump and see how the new meat fares!


Castlevania 10/10
I've played a couple of games that were better than Castlevania since we started the podcast, but we haven't played any of them for the podcast.  Yet. 

Mega Man 9/10
Same with Megaman, I really didn't expect it to be up this high so long.  It's got a lot of flaws, but it's fun, replaying it has just confirmed that, and I'm very excited to get to some of its sequels.

The Legend of Zelda 9/10
And the Legend of Zelda, man the best videogames on the NES were great, but part of me wishes we hadn't played so many of them so soon.  I know there are some undervalued gems out there somewhere, I just hope we play them sooner rather than later. 

Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars 8/10
Finally, some new blood making it high on the charts.  Super Mario RPG is a simple but fun title from the end of the Super Nintendo's lifespan.  Graphically it's sort of impressive, however like all early 3d games, it looks terrible in comparison to what we have today, where as most 2d games still look pretty decent, having a vintage look.  The game married Super Mario's art style to an RPG pretty well, although they added a bunch of stuff that feels off tonally.  Still, this inspired games like Paper Mario that capture the Mario universe perfectly.  SMRPG almost beat out Zelda on this list, however the pacing is really funny.   It starts slow, starts compressing super fast in the middle, then slows way down for the end, which starts to make it feel like a slog on the back end.  Still, a great game and I recommend it for anyone with interest in Mario, RPGs or the Super Nintendo.

Doom 8/10
I really didn't expect Doom to stay this high this long, but it has one thing that a lot of first person shooters lack these days.  First and foremost, it's fun.  It doesn't let anything get in the way of that.  The story is stupid, not having to reload guns is stupid, and the heavy metal and demon themes are childish, but it all adds up to fun, which is a thousand times better than being "realistic."

Gradius 8/10
Speaking of things I didn't expect, I haven't played Gradius once since that episode, when it's really the sort of challenging game I love.  I think these sorts of games work best for our assignments, since they encourage being played a lot in short bursts, but don't consume a whole lot of time.  Still if you haven't grabbed it, I suggest you throw it on your 3DS. 

Metroid 7/10
Metroid is another game I didn't expect to be up here all that long, since I didn't really love it.  I liked it enough to complete it, and I don't regret that at all, but I don't think I'm ever going to play it again.  Still, for an NES title it's quite complex, and likely inspired more than one modern title. 

Super Mario Bros. 7/10
Ironically, the baseline game I wanted to compare everything else to ends up being a 7.  Super Mario Bros., while not a complex game, is still a great one though, and one anyone interested in the history of videogames or what makes them good should play.  

Final Fantasy 6/10
Maybe after I finish my Mario binge I'll go back to Final Fantasy.  I liked what was there, and got less than a quarter of the way through, but technical problems made the game so hard to have fun with.  And I'm a guy who plays Dwarf Fortress.  Oh well.  

Gunstar Heroes 6/10
Don't really have anything to say about Gunstar Heroes I haven't already.  It's fine.

Excite Bike 6/10
I wish I'd gotten Excite Bike on the 3DS instead of the Wii virtual console.  It's a very simple game, but quite fun and would be great on a phone.  It's actually really easy to get into a sort of zen state while playing it, which makes it fantastic for doing things like listening to podcasts.  That said, while fun, it's really simple, and I can't recommend it to anyone who isn't curious already. 

Kirby’s Adventure 5/10
Kirby's Adventure gets the role I envisioned Super Mario Bros. having.  The middle of the road.  It's a technical marvel, colorful, and has a huge number of interesting power ups.  Unfortunately, it's also incredibly easy, to the point of being boring.  This was by design, it was supposed to be a game for  kids, but I don't think it quite holds up.

Harvest Moon 5/10
The first assignment I didn't complete, Harvest Moon has a similar problem to Kirby in that it's boring.  However, it starts out fun, the game simply doesn't have enough going on to entertain you to completion, at least Kirby has new levels and enemies. 

Sonic the Hedgehog 5/10
And here we have the corner of games that were good ideas but just messed something up really bad.  At the top, Sonic, a decent platformer that gives you all sorts of interesting super speed options and punishes you for using them.  I've been too scared to play Sonic 2 again since we played this, but I remember it being much better and recommend you try that if you want a Sonic game. 

F-Zero 4/10
Two racing games in one month is too many, they're just too similar.  I'll admit, I didn't really play enough F-Zero, only an hour or two, it just never grabbed me.  If I'd played it more, it might actually be lower on this list, as it never really did anything that annoyed me, I just never got super into it.  F-Zero X is a game I loved, and I'm eager to see if it holds up or just feels like more of the same.

Act Raiser 4/10
I've said my piece on Act Raiser a thousand times.  Great concept, interesting themes, lousy execution. 

The Legend of the Mystical Ninja 4/10
And now we get to the games that are just sort of boring in general.  Mystical Ninja has co-op and is a fun afternoon with a friend, but that's sort of an easy add on for any game, and many have done it better sense.

Comix Zone 3/10
Man, Comix Zone, such a cool premise that doesn't deliver at all.  The enemies are bland, the story stupid, the characters forgettable, and the game play frustrating.  The music and graphics are acceptable, and the game is short which is a sort of mercy, but damn is it not worth playing.  Skip it.

Ogre Battle 3/10
Again, great ideas, a fun tactical system, but just frustratingly hard game play that ruins it all, it doesn't even have the mercy of at least being short.  If the idea of controlling an army of wizards and golems sounds interesting, play Ogre Battle 64 instead. 

Double Dragon II The Revenge 2/10
Another co-op game with almost nothing going on, terrible controls are what hurt Double Dragon 2 the most, but honestly, it's just not fun.  I hear good things about Double Dragon Neon, try that one if you're curious about the series. 

Double Dragon 2/10
Imagine Double Dragon 2 with no co-op, and terrible looping music that makes you want to kill yourself.  Ta-dah, Double Dragon! 

Ghosts ‘n Goblins 2/10
Which is still better than Ghosts 'n Goblins.  Incredible difficulty, power ups that are a detriment more often then a help, and you have to play it twice.  It's notoriously hard, but also incredibly poorly made.

Phantasy Star 1/10
Bleh.  Phantasy Star sucks.  There I'm done, tune in next month, where hopefully I'll be in a better mood.